I'm sorry to hear, I know what you are feeling, I got a chihuahua when I was twelve and lost her when I was 33yr, She was 21yr old, I lost her the day after I buried my mother. We don't know what happened to her, she somehow did someting to her back and couldn't walk. she was in alot of pain and I took her to the vet that treated her for 21 years. I think he cried just as hard as me. and a funny thing 5 years later i went to work for him and worked with him till he retired. I now work for his partner.