Our female, Jan, is the scariest one of the bunch because she can get into moods where she really wants to release some aggression and energy. She wants to play, but her little claws are so very sharp.

When she is in one of these moods, I put an oven mitt on my hand and we can play and she can get the energy out of her system.

Also, some kitties just aren't lap kitties. My Sid sure isn't. But he can quiet down and sit next to me, so you might want to try that with your kitty.

good luck.