Dearest Caramel, what an utterly beautiful Guinea Pig you are, the perfect photographic model! That fluffy light-brown and white coat is so pretty and looks so very soft, and don't you ever have the sweetest face, with those lovely big brown eyes and that darling daisy crown! And how nice that you have all those greenies to nibble on there!
And what a story you have to tell! I'm so sorry to learn you recently had a big scare and were injured. But I'm so glad to learn you've recovered from all that and are now a great mother to your dear daughter and a great friend to your dear person. Your person loves your nice long hair and how you always keep yourself so pretty and clean. You all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Caramel, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear daughter and person and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats and more of those tasty greens to nibble on!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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