Random thoughts

**cats4ever** · 10-23-2018, 12:10 PM

Would it be possible to just try to get along? I know that's a lot to ask if you just can't stand the person, but you know that she's leaving after six weeks, so why not try to make it work.
What does your mother-in-law enjoy doing? Keep her busy, keep yourself busy.

**mon** · 10-23-2018, 01:50 PM

Aww, thanks kids! I will stop wallowing in self pity now, it is a very unattractive quality, I realize. What she likes to do is sit in my chair all day, and stare at her i phone, leave a trail of crumbs and dishes from the kitchen to the chair and watch home Reno shows and the property brothers while drinking no less that one bottle of red wine and at least 3 highballs. I'll just hide upstairs when I need a break, there's lots to do upstairs, housework, t.v., reading, kissing cats.....laundry. It is unavoidable, I have a few months to steel myself for the inevitable. It's hard to have her for 2 weeks, I cannot fathom, well...you know. I will just have to let her make a huge mess and clean it all up when she's gone, there. Problem solved. Maybe I was a messy kid, could be Karma.

**phesina** · 10-23-2018, 04:21 PM

What does your husband... her son.. have to say about all this? Will he take some responsibility and involve himself with his mother while she's visiting?

**mon** · 10-23-2018, 07:15 PM

Oh yes, he always helps with everything but she always comes when he has holidays, 4 times a year. She will be here when he's working this time, he works at least 12 hours a day. She won't cook or clean anything, believe me, I have asked her many times. It's so weird, I know she can see well enough. She's just lazy and busy on her i pad, drinking and eating. She always says " I'll do it later". Well she never does. Blows my mind. I have gotten angry a couple times and told her to help out, she just gets insulting, pretends to cry and then pouts in her room for a while. Then she'll re appear ten minutes later, want to "hug it out" as she calls it and carry on her merry way, exactly as before. It's amazing really, gotta hand it to her. I am not sure if she is messed up in the head or not, I think she just wants to get her way and knows I'm not sure what to think. Hopefully she will stop coming to visit one day 💀😸🙀

**mon** · 10-23-2018, 07:34 PM

Oh it's all very boring and complicated I know. She has dual citizenship, to keep it and her B.C. Medical ins. She must spend a certain amount of time here, apparently our house. I think she blew most of her wad, travelles the world, last year it was Anrarctica and Cambodia. She just bought a condo in Mexico and her laser surgery is cheaper here, plus she will have free room, board and a chef and maid. Chicks not stupid. Sorry, I'm done, I hope I'm never anything like her when I'm old 🙏🏾😁

**Karen** · 10-24-2018, 12:42 PM

I think you need to sit down with your husband on a calm day, and discuss with him a set of written "rules" for his mother to follow while she is here, or she can expect to be told to get a rental room somewhere instead. Make a list - laundry, dishes, whatever, list out every possible chore. Discuss it calmly, and see what can be worked out.

There is hope- she is not the only one who needs to change.

**cassiesmom** · 10-24-2018, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by Karen

I think you need to sit down with your husband on a calm day, and discuss with him a set of written "rules" for his mother to follow while she is here, or she can expect to be told to get a rental room somewhere instead. Make a list - laundry, dishes, whatever, list out every possible chore. Discuss it calmly, and see what can be worked out.

There is hope- she is not the only one who needs to change.

Especially if he's going to be working 12-hour days during her visit. I think an advance plan is a terrific idea. A similar thing happened to my family many years ago when a family friend visited. She wanted to cook for us, but she didn't have a car and I ended up taking her to the supermarket, the butcher, the bakery ... She was having such a lovely time with us (after we had been her AirB&B, restaurant, laundry and maid service for ten days) that she wanted to stay another week. We firmly told her that wouldn't work for us. When she left it was like a three ring circus had just left town. Looking back, we'd have done a lot better with some sort of agenda made out in advance.

(((HUGS))) Wish I was closer and could help you. Kiss your kitties for me