First joke I remember hearing. Guy with a hair lip goes to the pet store, "Can I buy some birdseed please". Clerk says "I can't understand what you said. Guy goes away, comes back the next day, " I would like to buy some birdseed please" clerk says "go away hairlip, I can't understand what your saying!" The guy comes back every day for two weeks. On the 15 th day, the guy comes in and says," Hey mister, ya wanna buy a dead bird"?
Registered User
I saw this recently and it gave me a smile. With apologies in advance for any negative stereotypes.
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.
Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Change it yourself! I’m not afraid of the dark…
Doberman: While it’s out, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.
Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? I don't see a burnt out light bulb.
Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect light again?
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678
Registered User
That's cute!
Willa (5/1/1997-3/17/2018)
Pats and cats
Hee hee! Funny! All kinds of darling dogs there.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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