My kitty sez "my mimmy just can't let me sleep, for cryin' out loud! She's alwayz callin for me and making dem silly kissy-kiss noizes when she can't find me! I'm glad she luvz me but I wish she wouldn't smoooooch me on my hed so much cuz then I have to wash my hed a lot, and my pawz too, and what the heck, mite as well do my legz, and back, and tale......."

"I also don't unnerstand why I can't just eet ONE of those ratties in that cage, since they gotz 5 of them, they could spare one - I want the big fat grey and wite one, yummy! And why can't I go outside all day, every day, without dat stoopid lookin har-ness and leesh? It's embarrassin for a big manly cat like me to haf to be seen in dat girly purple thing. A guy can't chase chipmunkz propurly wit dat stoopid purple rope on. And anudder ting, how come my mimmy getz so mad when I push open the door to the big cement-floor room wit da carz in it, an leave da door open for hourz? I likes to look for chipmunkz out there and I can't shut da door behind me, ya know. It's the loud man'z fault dat he doesn't shut da door tite enuff."