What to Say (& Not Say) to Someone Who Lost a Pet

[smokey the elder]

I can relate to the #4 don't. When Smokey the Elder was diagnosed with cancer, a friend asked if I was going to have her put down. I told her I don't believe in disposable pets. She had dogs! But I think it was because the cat had what she thought was something incurable.

[Chatanuga]

It wasn't when I lost him but about three and a half weeks after I adopted him when my mom said something she shouldn't have regarding my first cat Chessie. I called her after finding out from the vet that he had a bad heart murmur. The very first thing she said was, "You had better find him another home because you can't afford to take care of him." I hadn't found out what was wrong yet or anything, just that he had a murmur, and she was telling me to just get rid of him. Later that evening, she again called me and began arguing about my keeping him. I've gotten into arguments with my parents over their trying to tell me how to live my life, but that was the closest I ever came to telling them where to go. I asked her if she would have gotten rid of me if something was wrong with me when I was born, and she kept insisting that it was different.