What to Say (& Not Say) to Someone Who Lost a Pet

[Randi]

I agree with what it says, especially the bit about "get another cat/dog". It's just not the same, it's the one you lost you're attached to and missing.

I can see the point Karen makes - an e-mail CAN be personal and well written.

[pomtzu]

I have to agree with the thought that emails really are too impersonal, even if you normally correspond with the person who has suffered the loss, in this manner. To me - that's like sending an ecard for Christmas - which is a no-no in my book - no matter how you normally keep in contact with that person. I don't think anyone would send an ecard or email to a person that just lost a friend or relative, so why would anyone do that for a person's pet-kid??

To post a comment in a forum such as we all do here, is totally acceptable to me tho. Afterall - we wouldn't know each other if it wasn't for our pets, yet in most cases we don't even know one another's real/complete names - let alone their address.

[katladyd]

The worst one, to me, is "it was just a cat/dog, etc..." JUST a cat? JUST a dog? Just a any form of pet? Oh no. The "Just a...." had a big part of my heart and was a very big part of my life and our family! The only thing they were "Just" of was beloved!

[smokey the elder]

I can relate to the #4 don't. When Smokey the Elder was diagnosed with cancer, a friend asked if I was going to have her put down. I told her I don't believe in disposable pets. She had dogs! But I think it was because the cat had what she thought was something incurable.

[Chatanuga]

It wasn't when I lost him but about three and a half weeks after I adopted him when my mom said something she shouldn't have regarding my first cat Chessie. I called her after finding out from the vet that he had a bad heart murmur. The very first thing she said was, "You had better find him another home because you can't afford to take care of him." I hadn't found out what was wrong yet or anything, just that he had a murmur, and she was telling me to just get rid of him. Later that evening, she again called me and began arguing about my keeping him. I've gotten into arguments with my parents over their trying to tell me how to live my life, but that was the closest I ever came to telling them where to go. I asked her if she would have gotten rid of me if something was wrong with me when I was born, and she kept insisting that it was different.