Originally posted by NoahsMommy
Oh Donna, I'm so sorry about the cruel comments your sister-in-law made. She really has no idea, and I agree with Johanna, imagine how unhappy she is in her life to be able to despense criticism so easily.
Bingo. When people are unhappy about their lot in life and can't/won't do anything about it, it's a defence mechanism to put other people down.

She's treating you like a child; I'll be celebrating with you the day that debt is paid and you can cut those ties that she's hanging onto!

As everyone else is said, you are a very much valued person in this community. It would be a sad day if you started posting less (OK, I'm being selfish here ) so do what the h*ll you want and start easing out of her life until she feels able to have an adult-adult relationship with you. You could be a great form of support for her with her husband's health issues but it's up to her to reach out.