Dad came to visit

[kaycountrygal]

Hi Sandie, I just read this entire thread and got tears in my eyes. Hon, You have had alot on you. It had to be (and probably still is)hard and sad for you that your father cant stay home and has to be in a place that can take care of his needs. I am sorry it has to be that way; it was wonderful and loving of you to want to do it yourself but it would have been too much as you were told. I've never had firsthand experience with a loved one who doesnt remember his home but I know it would hurt me to the core.
May I ask... does he know you? and your pet crew? Does he recognize them? I think it's sweet that they know him. I'm sorry things are the way they are and he cant get better. It's a good thing he can be at a place where he gets the care he needs. We do what we have to do. You're both in my prayers.

[Freedom]

Kay, he knows who I am about half the time, Kay. The rest of the time he just knows I am a friendly face, someone he 'should' probably know, and he is safe with. That last bit is important, as he is still willing to leave and come with me to doctor appts. At some point in time, he may not feel that way and then we - all Caregivers for people with dementia - have to pay one of the CNAs to accompany him to the doctor and dentist visits.

He knows we have fluffy white dogs -- he has not been able to tell them apart for 3 years and never remembers their names now. I can tell him that is Willy in your lap (when we go visit at the NH) and a few moments later he is asking, which one is this?

I should say, he knows we have fluffy white PETS. He has not been able to tell if it is a cat or a dog for over a year now.

[Asiel]

I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. I always followed you and your dad when he was still at home and didn't know what had happened when I didn't see any more pictures or read anything.

What a bittersweet story, I love the pictures and thank you for the explanation of everything. I've just learned a lot from what you wrote. Ihope your dad can keep seeing his furry little pals, he and they look so happy together again. Very heartwarming. I admire your strength and courage, your dad is lucky to have you as his daughter...

[krazyaboutkatz]

Sandie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I didn't realize that things had gotten so bad. I'm glad he's getting the care that he needs and that he's able to visit his home and all of your furkids too. I know that all of this is extremely hard for you. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Varga]

Can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with all this. Even if he doesn't recognize the fluffs (and kitties) anymore you can still tell it means a lot to him and they for sure seem happy to see him. Just look at that smile! Those photos are priceless

[cassiesmom]

I smiled as I looked at these pictures, Sandie! I am glad he was able to sit down and be with the pets for awhile. And also that he is settling in at the facility where he's been living these past several months. He looks really good from your pictures. i think you did a great job of caring for him in your home for as long as you have, and I'm glad he gets physical exercise and stimulating activities. sending you (((HUGS))) tonight.

[Freedom]

Thank you Asiel, Tracy, Varga and Elyse. I appreciate the encouragement from all your comments.

[cassiesmom]

I like the first picture best. Sandie, when I think of your Dad that is exactly how I picture him, surrounded by fluffs and/or kitties, and smiling! I agree with kaycountrygal -- how sweet that Riley, Willy and Crystal came to be with him! He may not remember exactly who's who but they know he is one of their people. I am also very glad they can go to visit him and I bet there are lots of smiles when he receives a visit from them!

[Karen]

I am so glad he had a nice visit, and is in a facility where his care can be met with the appropriate level of staffing. Are you allowed to bring any of the fluffs with you on visits as "therapy dogs?"

One thing that seemed to help with Aunt Bertha, who near the end had no short-term memory to speak of, was to bring her flowers when I visited, so there'd be evidence that "someone" had been there recently once I left. It also meant more people visited her room, which was a nice benefit! I was fortunate in that she always recognized me, she wasn't diagnosed with any particular dementia, but this was about 15 years ago now, it was just like all her systems were slowly shutting down as she aged. She was in her nineties.

[Freedom]

Karen, I take the dogs in regularly - in fact it is rare I go pet - less! I usually take one dog and every 7 to 10 days I take all 4. Sparkle has also been in to visit -- she is a registered pet therapy cat, though she hasn't "worked" in many years. Sparkle is age 17 now! I have been considering taking Crystal in, as well.

It takes us at least 10 minutes to get from the front door to the elevator -- EVERYONE loves to see the pets: residents, staff, other visitors, even vendors making deliveries! We've been in many resident rooms, joined Activities in all 3 activities rooms and in the big hall, and we've joined in PT as well. This place really encourages pet visits, so we have also met quite a few other dogs.