Dad came to visit

[Freedom]

Oh my........more tears shed here. I did not realize you were going through so much. I am so sorry Sandie. I am glad to hear things are settling and he is in a good place.
The owner of the company I work for, his mother had Alzheimer's. He said it was so difficult to watch her go through it. So my heart aches for you.

I do love the huge smile he has on his face in the photos!

Thank you Cindi. Yeah, I just sort of shut down for about 6 weeks, didn't really tell anyone what was happening except my cousin and a few close friends here locally == who insisted on dragging me out for meals as I about stopped eating, too.

Dab20, thanks for the encouragement, it is quite a journey, traveling the dementia road with a Loved One.

Ellie, there are more than 20 types of dementia: Alzheimer's, early onset Alzheimer's (seen in people as young as age 42!), cerebral vascular, Lewy bodies, frontal lobe, Dementia associated with Parkinson's disease, the list is long. The first 2 are now thought to be a third type of diabetes! Many dementia patients crave carbs, as diabetics do. The causes are different with each sort, the treatment varies somewhat though not as much as we who have to cope with it would like. Medical science still doesn't know much about it all, so many of the meds are the same, a 'one size fits all' solution at this point in time. The meds slow the progression of the disease, but there is no cure for any of them.

The biggest thing with Alzheimer's is that the person wanders, you likely have seen reports in the paper locally of someone who wandered off and there is a search on. That symptom seems to be typical to Alzheimer's with very little if any occurrence in the other forms of dementia.

Alzheimer's and frontal lobe people frequently become violent during Stage 4 of dementia; again you just don't see that in the other forms.

The stages are similar for all forms. There are 7 stages in all, my Dad is late Stage 5 / early Stage 6.

Another frustrating thing for us dealing with that the dementias seem to take on specific traits in certain people, but again medical science doesn't know when, who or why. Some people develop Alzheimer's and it progresses rapidly, with death in 2 to 3 years. Other people experience a very slow progression, lasting 20 years or more.

[robinh]

I am so sorry to hear this Sandie. It is so heartbreaking for you; knowing that it was best for him to be in a facility, but also knowing that you could no longer do everything for him. It does sounds like this is a wonderful place for him.

{{HUGS}}

[Freedom]

Thank you Robin.

[kaycountrygal]

Hi Sandie, I just read this entire thread and got tears in my eyes. Hon, You have had alot on you. It had to be (and probably still is)hard and sad for you that your father cant stay home and has to be in a place that can take care of his needs. I am sorry it has to be that way; it was wonderful and loving of you to want to do it yourself but it would have been too much as you were told. I've never had firsthand experience with a loved one who doesnt remember his home but I know it would hurt me to the core.
May I ask... does he know you? and your pet crew? Does he recognize them? I think it's sweet that they know him. I'm sorry things are the way they are and he cant get better. It's a good thing he can be at a place where he gets the care he needs. We do what we have to do. You're both in my prayers.

[Freedom]

Kay, he knows who I am about half the time, Kay. The rest of the time he just knows I am a friendly face, someone he 'should' probably know, and he is safe with. That last bit is important, as he is still willing to leave and come with me to doctor appts. At some point in time, he may not feel that way and then we - all Caregivers for people with dementia - have to pay one of the CNAs to accompany him to the doctor and dentist visits.

He knows we have fluffy white dogs -- he has not been able to tell them apart for 3 years and never remembers their names now. I can tell him that is Willy in your lap (when we go visit at the NH) and a few moments later he is asking, which one is this?

I should say, he knows we have fluffy white PETS. He has not been able to tell if it is a cat or a dog for over a year now.

[Asiel]

I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. I always followed you and your dad when he was still at home and didn't know what had happened when I didn't see any more pictures or read anything.

What a bittersweet story, I love the pictures and thank you for the explanation of everything. I've just learned a lot from what you wrote. Ihope your dad can keep seeing his furry little pals, he and they look so happy together again. Very heartwarming. I admire your strength and courage, your dad is lucky to have you as his daughter...

[krazyaboutkatz]

Sandie, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I didn't realize that things had gotten so bad. I'm glad he's getting the care that he needs and that he's able to visit his home and all of your furkids too. I know that all of this is extremely hard for you. Please take care. (((HUGS)))