Hmmm, I guess I didn't post what was happening here on PT; it was all during the holidays, quite overwhelming. I know I wasn't on here nearly as much as normal. I did spent a lot of time on the Caregivers Forum run by the Alzheimer's Assn. That is extremely helpful. It is for all types of dementia not just Alzheimers; Dad has cerebral vascular dementia, not Alzheimers.

Dad hasn't been home since Oct 22d. First 2 weeks in hospital, next 3 weeks in Rehab at place we had not used before and it was horrible! Back to hospital for 3 weeks, again to Rehab on Dec 8th and that time I made sure he went to the place we used often and liked. On Dec 17th, Dad and I met with his endocrinologist (diabetes doctor) who was surprised I thought Dad would be returning home. He said quite plainly that was not going to happen, Dad needed too much care. I spent 24 hours crying, and then the next 2 weeks I set about proving him wrong.

This doc had never met either of us before, no way he knew anything. Well, guess what? Everyone I talked to agreed this was beyond the ability of one person. It took ages to talk with people as this was the holidays lots of them were off, out of the office, etc. The VA, the staff at the Rehab, the nurse at the senior center, once they reviewed Dad's most recent hospital record, nope, can't do it, he needs a nurse 24 / 7. Made for an extremely difficult holiday season! I did put up our tree - first time doing that alone, cried like crazy. Dad never did see it.

Once I came around to the fact that Dad had to be placed, needed to get with his atty to figure out how to pay for all of it -- and like the others, she too was out for the holidays. Finally got things organized and as of Jan 14th he was in long term care. No, he will not be returning home except for visits.

I must say, his Case Manager from his health insurance was very understanding and kept extending his medical benefits while I came to terms with the situation, and then got things sorted out for his placement.

Dad has many many health issues - his entire endocrine system is under attack, an autoimmune thing. The first signs of this appeared when Dad was age 14. Several of his illnesses are progressive: diabetes, and dementia being the primary 2. What happened was, his diabetes advanced in one big jump, and with his dementia, it became a constant life threatening situation. For 5 weeks, his blood glucose levels would soar into the 800s and then plummet to the 30s, cycling like that twice every 24 hours! It was awful. Seizures, convulsions, and with his dementia, he was not able to give any indication by saying: " I don't feel good," "I'm getting hot" (low blood glucose) or cold (high blood glucose), so he needed eyes on him around the clock to monitor what was happening. He lost 14 pounds in those 5 weeks and at several points we thought this was the end. I was not even allowed to take him out for ages as he was so unstable, so I had Christmas Eve and Dad dinner there with him.

The diabetes stabilized, they completely changed ALL of his medications in the process. He still needs quite a bit of monitoring. So no, he will not be coming back here to live. He has gained a total of 25 pounds since Jan 1!!! The place is large, 168 beds, with a strong Activities Dept. They offer activities 3 times daily, morning, afternoon and evening. The morning and afternoon, there are 2 or 3 things happening, folks attend based on their abilities both physical and mental. Dad eats in the dining room for lunch and supper; everyone has breakfast in their room. A person with dementia needs 5 hours of socialization per day. Here at home, he was getting about 8 hours per week. Now he gets the entire 5 hours easily. They have him in the PT room, he is up to 15 minutes on the exercise bike daily; that bike has never been used so much! He had been doing 20 minutes on the bike at the Y up till Oct 19th, so he is almost back to where he was. He is strong physically, again. But the dementia . . . he has about a 4 second retention so it is difficult to have a conversation with him. I mean, I can't go in at 1 PM and say, "So how was lunch?" He has no idea if he had lunch or if lunch is still to come and forget asking what he had.

I go in almost daily, and sometimes twice a day (if I am doing his laundry, for example). I go at different times and sometimes just watch and observe what he does with him knowing I am there. I can see how the staff interact with him, and how he is coping. It was heart breaking the first 3 weeks, he kept saying Take me home! Get me out of here, I want to go home. Now, he seems quite settled in there.


Its been a hard adjustment for me, as well, but I am getting through it.