Dear Patch

[Edwina's Secretary]

Darling Patch...

How many times do I have to remind you...use the acorn squash - not the spaghetti squash!

Yours in gourds...

Edwina e/s

[Lady's Human]

Okay madame mayor.

I have had enough.

A kitty torture program was NOT cool.

Patch.

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

[Karen]

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

Awww, he could hear them, even when Grandpa couldn't I bet!

Sorry Patch!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Ooooo, where did you get that app?

Edwina (who plans to torture Eddie with it!)

[Karen]

Edwina, it is currently free at the iTunes store! Believe it or not it is NOT marketed as kitty torture ....

[Lady's Human]

Kitty torture.......we've got an app for that!

[cassiesmom]

Dear Patch, are your people still torturing you with the bird call app? How are you? How is Lady?

Your fan,
Elyse

[Lady's Human]

Elyse,
I am well, though my human still puts that keyboard thing in his lap and he doesn't know enough to sit still while I'm trying to sleep. He keeps moving his legs around.

And why did you have to give the dog more medication. She keeps body checking me into things with her head. I don't like it.

[Lady's Human]

Okay, guys.

It's a simple concept.

If the food bowl is in the middle of the floor, IT'S A HINT! (And please stop poking fun at my fur, it's tough keeping it all in place with all this dry air!)

[Karen]

Hee hee! Um, Patch, you do know it is up to the hoomans to decide when you get food, don't you? And I thought the dry air just enabled you to build up static to zap them!

[Lady's Human]

My sincere apologies for taking away your latest kill.

Good job nailing the little bugger, but we didn't need mouse guts on the carpet again.

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

Especially the big one,

Would you PLEASE stop giving Lady the pills? I tried to ambush her again......and lost again.

That game was so much more fun when she couldn't move as well.

I thought you loved me?

Patch.

[Karen]

Um, Patch, that's called "leveling the paying field" - gotta give the old girl a fair shot!

Are you not, as a cat, supposed to be agile enough to avoid the head slams?

[Lady's Human]

With the sole exception of mousing, coordination has never been his strong suit.....

This time he almost got himself flipped over the back of the couch.

[mrspunkysmom]

Dear Patch,

Spunky can't jump and at least you aren't running head first into the wall. The cat would run fast down the hall and forget to turn at the bedrooms