Politics and religion.

[Edwina's Secretary]

back on topic....

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics
(like
"legitimate rape") so we have decided to leave you.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the
other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes
California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially
to the people of the new country, the Enlightened States of America
(E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research.

You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 % of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama. And
Louisiana.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue.

You now get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 % lower than the Christian
Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of
single moms.

Please be aware that the E.S.A. will be pro choice and anti-war and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Afghanistan at once. If
you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no convincing
purpose.

We wish you success in Afghanistan and possibly Iran as well, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in these sorts of pursuits.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the
country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92%
of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90%
of
all cheese, 90 % of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur
coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy (Yale,
Harvard, etc.) and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Berkeley, U of
Chicago, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese
Americans and their projected health care costs; 92% of all US
mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99%
of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists; Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale;
62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty
or gun laws;
44% say that evolution is only a theory;
53% claim that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
61% of you crazies believe that you have
higher morals then we lefties.

Sincerely,


With apologies to anyone who thinks expressing an opinion contrary to the one you hold is "talking down" to you.

[Lady's Human]

Does this mean we have to keep Gov. Romney as well?

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Please note: Very few of us in the "red" states had anything to do with this wanting to pull out of the union nonsense!!! I am not red or blue. I have voted both ways over the years. I had two 5th great grandfathers who fought in the American Revolution and I'll be dang gum if I go against what they fought so hard for.

So, if most of the rest of Kansas wants to pull out of the union, there will be one little yellow house on the prairie that will remain American!!! Of course, the rest of you all might have to air drop me and my cats supplies.

By the way, I wouldn't brag about getting to keep Hollywood.

[lizbud]

So, if most of the rest of Kansas wants to pull out of the union, there will be one little yellow house on the prairie that will remain American!!! Of course, the rest of you all might have to air drop me and my cats supplies.

Not to worry Moff. We won't let you & the kitties go hungry.

Although I live in Indiana, one of the Red states involved, I don't think this will be more than a brief outburst of all the sore losers. They seem to
be going through the five stages of grief right now.

[RICHARD]

Five stages of grief?

That sounds like something from an MSNBC program.

------------

There are sore winners and gracious winners out there, someplace.

The cackling media are just as guilty of being gold plated AHs as the politicians are. I love it that most news readers won't win with any kind of shot or SA remarks about 'what went wrong'.

What went wrong? The Republican party lost - some of them worse that others - and what then?

------------

The honorable thing to do is to bury the casualties, stop for a second to be gracious and give your opponent a nod for bringing you the fight.

When you dance on the bones of your foe?

-----------------

Ever notice that baboon arse is blue and red?

[Karen]

Plaid, I say! America is not "red" and "blue" - it's plaid! And will remain that way, pundits and naysayers besides. They are actually the smallest of the minorities, but have the loudest whines!

We have not a nation of "winners" and "losers" - we are a nation of human beings of every skin color, ethnicity and size, and our glory is in the things that unite us, not divide us. I don;t know anyone on the streets talking about secession - and here is where the American Revolution started, just a few miles away from me.

And here on Pet Talk, we all have animals we love and spoil and that sets us apart from other folks. But we'll just pity them, and try to education them!

[RICHARD]

I played sports for all my life - but I am devoid of the "winner gene" - The beauty of sports is looking across the line at your opponent and playing to the best of your ability.

After game I always felt good about being able to play, If the team won? So much better.

Afterwards you shook hands or sat around for a soda, beer or played again.

-----------------

Sportsmanship is a as important as winning or losing.

You can tell who the winners are because you forget who won the next day.

Losers will remind you, long after the contest is over, that they won the game.

----------------

Instead of the politicians and media rolling up their sleeves and saying, "good game, let's plan the next match?"

They are too busy reminding everyone they won - no wonder no one wants to play with them again........

[Edwina's Secretary]

Does this mean we have to keep Gov. Romney as well?

Sometimes a little chaff gets stuck in the wheat.