Random thoughts

[cassiesmom]

I'd like to submit a petition to the Federal Government of the United States:

That the Federal Government add another Holiday to the calendar, said holiday to be a floating holiday falling on the third Monday of the Month of March, and that a similar holiday be proclaimed falling on the second Monday of the month of August.

That these Holidays be officially named "Excuse to sell stuff in (fill in the respective month) Day"

Federal Employees get the day off, with no mail delivery, giving people yet another reason to carp about all the benefits Federal employees get.

Due to the nature of the Holiday, Banks would, of course, have to remain open, as would retail establishments.

I'd like to join in the petition, except that I would like to tweak it slightly so the March holiday always falls on the Monday immediately following Easter - which could be in either March or April. Other countries observe Easter Monday as a holiday and I think we should too. No courts, no mail, no banking. Retail establishments and museums are open so it is a lovely three-day weekend.

[smokey the elder]

I think Election Day should either be a holiday, or held on a weekend. It can be tough for some people to go vote. (Although early voting/absentee ballots can help.) Sorry about the politics contamination!

[RICHARD]

My Holiday Proclamations?

"No holiday will be advertised until the holiday preceding it has been celebrated.

This means no mention of sales or promotions, no decorating, music or store displays. The earliest a holiday CAN begin to be exploited is at midnight of the holiday PRECEDING the next holiday.

Milestone birthdays are exempt from the ruling - and they are the ONLY exemption."

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"Christmas CAN be celebrated on Christmas Eve to alleviate the need to go to people's houses and be greeted by hung over friends/families in mismatched sleeping attire, kids who want to show you a toy with annoying sound effects, ask you to play with said toy or asking your to watch them play with sports equipment they are not co-ordinated to use."

Nothing sadder than to have to go to the ER when little Bobby takes his new skateboard down the street and into the bumper of your car, hit it, bleed over it and not have the courtesy to wash it afterwards.

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The phrase, "Here, you HAVE TO TRY THIS!" or "IT'S to DIE FOR!" should be banned at any buffet, potluck, company luncheon or family gathering.

No, I don't have to try it, I do not like pearl onions, yams or sweet dressing. I have 'died for' your undercooked pork dish, the recipe you stole from you mom-in-law and refined it into something totally inedible - But, I will have a look at the box of raspberry truffles you just opened!

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The phrase "Hey, come here, I want you to see something/try something" shall also be banned.
I do not care to smoke a stinky cigar, see your new bike or have a shot of booze in the garage. I would not like to be humiliated by an SO or child who sticks their head into the room, grimaces and or asks, "What are you doing?"

The answer is obvious. I am doing something that I cannot/would not do in front of you, go back inside or thanks for saving me.

(Illegal activities such as seeing/handling/operating fireworks, firearms, moonshine/homemade beer/wine, Cuban cigars, modified motor operated vehicles or taking a break from a nagging SO shall be taken into consideration on a per case basis....)

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Holiday greetings shall be limited to holding a person's upper arm and telling them they look good or have not been seen in a while.

There shall be no air kissing, real kissing, hugging or grinding. IF A HUG IS REQUIRED it shall last no longer that 2 seconds.

Men shall not do the fake "bro handshake and left arm clasp" I don't like being touched BY ANYONE.

Women and men shall not wear that cloying parfume, cologne or aftershave at said holiday gathering. You gave me the same shiat last Christmas, I know what it smells like.

You will not be allowed to ask/tell a person, after the hug/kiss/grind, "You've gained weight since the last time I saw you, are you sick" or "You have lost weight since the last time I saw you, are you sick?"

You will also not tell the person you have the same article of clothing in a different color or "bought one for my kid."

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People will not be allowed to yell out a monetary value of a gift certificate or name of the store during the opening of gifts.

"Helen got a 200 dollar gift card to BestBuy!" is annoying, when you gave her a 15 dollar card to Yankee Candle.

[RICHARD]

Why is it that when I see a Kia Soul driving down the street, humans, not giant rats are driving?

[Karen]

Why is it that when I see a Kia Soul driving down the street, humans, not giant rats are driving?

The commercial features animated hamsters, not rats! We refer to the Kia Soul as 'the hamster car" as it seems pretty small - so good size for a hamster!

[Alysser]

Why do my professors think it's a good idea to have two impossible exams in the same week?

[cassiesmom]

I heard a commercial on the radio for coffee with extra caffeine -- really, coffee makers?!

[RICHARD]

The commercial features animated hamsters, not rats! We refer to the Kia Soul as 'the hamster car" as it seems pretty small - so good size for a hamster!

I should have known rats do not drive?

On another note?

Can generals courtmartial their 'privates' if they do not behave??