Dear Patch

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

If you can meow to the world about me, I'm going to have my minute as well.

Remember, laps are for cats, not keyboards.

Please remember this and correct that major shortcoming. It gets tiring to remind you of this every day.

Please open the short human's door before you go to bed. Failure to do so WILL result in early morning wakeup calls to let me in his room. Remember, I'm just as stubborn as you.

The hidey hole under the deck is MUCH safer for me than the house in case of a storm. I keep trying to tell you this, but you still refuse to let me outside. Have you forgotten how you found me? Just because you saw me one morning in the driveway doesn't mean that's how I got here or that that's the first place I saw YOU.

Thanks, and I'll be expecting improvement.

I KNOW you'll read this, after all, you've got that keyboard thing in your lap again this morning.



Patch

[Karen]

Now, Patch, inside in someone's lap is a safer place to be than the hidey hole under the deck in a storm! After all, the hides hole might be the place some other critters decide to use, and I do not think you'd enjoy sharing the space with a s*k*u*n*k - they might object to your attempts to play ...

[Lady's Human]

And in a bizarre version of feline clue.......

It was Patch


In the office


With the Spaghetti squash.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Darling Patch...

How many times do I have to remind you...use the acorn squash - not the spaghetti squash!

Yours in gourds...

Edwina e/s

[Lady's Human]

Okay madame mayor.

I have had enough.

A kitty torture program was NOT cool.

Patch.

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

[Karen]

(for the rest of the board.......Karen downloaded a Roger Tory Peterson field guide complete with bird calls to our dad's Ipad. It was driving the cat insane trying to find out where the birds were in the diningroom)_

Awww, he could hear them, even when Grandpa couldn't I bet!

Sorry Patch!

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Ooooo, where did you get that app?

Edwina (who plans to torture Eddie with it!)