Thank you all for the continued support and understanding. I am so depressed over all this!
I don't know which vet they're using; evidently, it's not their regular one (and I don't even know who that is), but my d.i.l. said she called around to find one who uses laser surgery. I suggested trying to find one who does tendonectomy - not that I approve of that either, but at least the poor little girl would keep her toes - but that conversation went nowhere.

As I said, I asked my d.i.l.'s mother if she understood that declawing involves amputation of bone; she said, yes, the vet explained that. When I asked if she was ok with that, she said yes. How can an otherwise good person feel like that? I don't understand - I just don't. Cause an innocent child deliberate pain for your own convenience?? It's wrong, plain and simple - it's morally wrong, I don't want to stand before my Creator when my name is called and tell Him that my furniture was more important than the living, sentient being He entrusted to me.

I mentioned that my own vet refuses to routinely declaw; the response was, "I've heard that." Well, geez - doesn't it say something that a doctor who stands to make money from the procedure refuses to do it? That ought to tell these unenlightened people *something*, but it doesn't seem to. Having a picture-perfect house is more important to them than loving a furchild. I don't understand why they just don't buy a plush or a ceramic cat; they can place it photogenically, have their perfect house, and not have to deal with litterboxes, food, vets - or scratching.

There's so much more going on in my heart than the bare fact of declawing; that my son sees nothing wrong with it hurts me deeply. It means that my example has not been enough to instill compassion into him; it means I've failed him and every pet he'll ever have. Or maybe it's just that his wife now has more influence over him than I used to.

In time, I'll feel better, I know - but not today. You all have been a huge help, and I am very, very grateful for your understanding and support. May the Creator bless each of you mightily for your compassion.