Dear Patch

[Lady's Human]

Dearest Patch,

I know, you got irritated when we took away your last kill.

However, that was not reason to hide that where you did.

We have a portable heater in our living room that stays behind the loveseat out of the way when not in use. The loveseat gets moved for vacuuming, etc, but the heater just sits there.

I moved it the other day as it was cool enough to need heat, but not cold enough to turn on the furnace.

Under the heater was a very dead mouse. Don't know when he put it there, but obviously we need to keep a better eye on hidey holes.

[Karen]

Yikes, RIP mousie. You did NOT pick a good home to invade!

Patch, sorry, but you should present your trophies to your hoomans, not hide them away. They do NOT get better with age, I promise!

[Lady's Human]

Maybe, just maybe if you stopped ambushing Lady every time she came in from going outside she wouldn't snarl at you when you try to curl up with her on the couch.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch....apparently Lady has NO sense of humor....

What was that old saw......something about pets resembling their owners?

[Lady's Human]

Dear Humans,

If you can meow to the world about me, I'm going to have my minute as well.

Remember, laps are for cats, not keyboards.

Please remember this and correct that major shortcoming. It gets tiring to remind you of this every day.

Please open the short human's door before you go to bed. Failure to do so WILL result in early morning wakeup calls to let me in his room. Remember, I'm just as stubborn as you.

The hidey hole under the deck is MUCH safer for me than the house in case of a storm. I keep trying to tell you this, but you still refuse to let me outside. Have you forgotten how you found me? Just because you saw me one morning in the driveway doesn't mean that's how I got here or that that's the first place I saw YOU.

Thanks, and I'll be expecting improvement.

I KNOW you'll read this, after all, you've got that keyboard thing in your lap again this morning.



Patch

[Karen]

Now, Patch, inside in someone's lap is a safer place to be than the hidey hole under the deck in a storm! After all, the hides hole might be the place some other critters decide to use, and I do not think you'd enjoy sharing the space with a s*k*u*n*k - they might object to your attempts to play ...

[mrspunkysmom]

Dear Patch,

Spunky can't jump and at least you aren't running head first into the wall. The cat would run fast down the hall and forget to turn at the bedrooms

[Lady's Human]

Dear Patch,

Spunky can't jump and at least you aren't running head first into the wall. The cat would run fast down the hall and forget to turn at the bedrooms

Well, about that......


I think there's an indent in the wall in the diningroom.....fuzzy feet don't turn too well on pergo.

[Lady's Human]

Ambushing Lady from underneath the loveseat is NOT an approved practice. (I think someone's getting tired of the slams into the wall from Lady post-ambush)

[Karen]

Oh, Patch, there's gonna be consequences you might not like if you keep that up! I'll send Grandpa back with the birdie-torture device ...