Holiday Protocol Question

[Lady's Human]

I guess - why do you feel you have to say anything regarding the holiday?

I just don't comment on the holidays of other religions,in most cases I don't know the customs associated with them. In the odd case where it was someone who went out of their way to explain a holiday, I'll make an appropriate mention, otherwise, I normally don't say anything other than the usual greeting.

[sparks19]

I wanted to edit my last post but it won't let me do that on my phone

Just wanted to add...
It USED to be polite to wish people well but now it's turned into mincing words to turn a well wish into a hidden slight

[Edwina's Secretary]

I just don't comment on the holidays of other religions,in most cases I don't know the customs associated with them. In the odd case where it was someone who went out of their way to explain a holiday, I'll make an appropriate mention, otherwise, I normally don't say anything other than the usual greeting.

As usual I agree with LH. If I am not confident about someone else's holiday I would hesitate to give a holiday greeting. "Happy Good Friday" sounds ghastly to me - just as "Happy Yom Kippur" does or "Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception" (which does not, as many assume, have anything to do with the Virgin Birth.)

I would rather wish someone a bland "good holiday" than offend someone with an inappropriate expression. My definition of polite!

[sparks19]

Everyone is different but I know we are all humans and don't always say the exact right words so if someone wished me a happy *enter solemn day here* I would say THANK YOU and move on because I KNOW they have good intentions and aren't trying to be offensive. I just can't imagine why I would take offense to someone trying to be nice. it just doesn't make sense to me. Why people look for some hidden slight in everything I will never know. if someone felt the need to acknowledge a religious holiday they knew I celebrated I would be incredibly flattered that they thought enough to even REALIZE that it was a holiday for me even if it wasn't a holiday they celebrated even if they didn't use exactly the right word or even if they didn't pronouce it correctly or what have you. WHY be offended by it?

I also don't generally mention specific holidays. I usually just give a generic "Have a good long weekend" or something of the sort but to be offended if someone makes a mistake while wishing me well? it just seems like splitting hairs to me

[Edwina's Secretary]

Well...there you have it!

Some of us see how we intend our message - and that is what matters...others see how the recipient hears our message - and that is what is matters....

I guess it depends on who you consider more important...

[cassiesmom]

http://judaism.about.com/od/holidays...-Greetings.htm

Yom Kippur Greetings

Yom Kippur is the Jewish Day of Atonement and is considered the holiest and most solemn day on the Jewish calendar. Because Yom Kippur is a fast day, it is appropriate to wish your Jewish friends an "Easy Fast" on Yom Kippur, or in Hebrew "Tzom Kal." The traditional Yom Kippur greeting is "G'mar Hatimah Tovah" or "May You Be Sealed for a Good Year (in the Book of Life)." This reflects the Jewish view of Yom Kippur as the day when God seals our fates (determined by our actions) for the upcoming year in the Books of Life or Death. The entire ten Days of Awe from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur are viewed as the beginning of the New Year, so you may also still wish your Jewish friends a "Happy New Year" or "L'Shana Tovah" on Yom Kippur.

In a previous job I had a Jewish co-worker. It was fall and she was off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. She was giving me information because I was covering some of her cases. I told her that I hoped she would enjoy the holidays, and she explained to me about fasting for Yom Kippur and wishing someone an easy fast. I asked her if it was appropriate to say Happy New Year for Rosh Hashanah and she said it definitely was.

My grandmother used to always refer to Memorial Day as "Decoration Day". It seemed (at least around here) that it was less about picnics and the start of summer, and more attention was paid to observances and recognizing the holiday. I was glad to see that.

[Cataholic]

Well...there you have it!

Some of us see how we intend our message - and that is what matters...others see how the recipient hears our message - and that is what is matters....

I guess it depends on who you consider more important...

Ah, I would have to say that it is the recipient's hearing, in this regard, that is most important, barring some unusual interpretative deficiencies. This is such an interesting point. We all believe we mean well, but things might come across wrong, or are taken wrong, and it further drives home the point- if you don't know how/what/why or when to appropriately greet someone, it is best to stay silent, or say something most people wouldn't take offensively.

[sparks19]

I suppose. Although I find most people are reasonable and when you say "Have a good day" they hear "I hope the rest of your day is good to you". It just seems like the normal thing to interpret from such a phrase. I've never had anyone FLIP out because I wished them well because most people are reasonable and take things at face value. I find it a sad thing to be silent and cold but that seems to be more and more what society is turning into. Look down, don't make eye contact and don't you DARE say anything nice to anyone. Cold and sterile.

when I go somewhere like the grocery store I look up, I smile at people as I pass by, I say excuse me and apologize if there is the slightest chance I may have been in their way, etc. I find people really respond positively to that kind of thing. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. I often end up in random conversations (short ones mind you) with people around the grocery store because people are just looking for the chance to engage sometimes. My daughter does the same thing and the way people respond to her is amazing. They are always taken by her pleasant demeanor and politeness. I figure you get what you give. If you give genuine smiles and genuine greetings, that's what you get in return. People respond to kindness with kindness the vast majority of the time. If you keep your eyes down and are cold and standoffish, that's what you will get from others. A warm smile and a heartfelt "Have a good day" or "Enjoy the rest of your day" I find is almost always met with the same response

Every once in a while I'll smile and say Have a good day to a cashier or something on the way out and get nothing in return but her staring down at her feet and that's OK too. I just go on with my day and hope my genuine wish that they be well brightened their day even a little bit. Even on our worst days sometimes we just need someone to genuinely smile at us or extend some sort of feeling that they might care even just a little bit.

I know all the years I worked in retail and customer service jobs many times a "how are you" could open the flood gates for someone and they would just tell me everything that was bothering them that day and when that happens the best thing I could do was lend them an ear and let them get it off their chest and at the end I would just say soemthing like "Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. I really hope your day starts looking up, that must be so hard to deal with." and I smile at them. Most people are reasonable and thank me for listening and they in turn wish me a good day. It's a great exchange even if it takes up "precious time".

Being warm and caring isn't a bad thing.

[Cataholic]

^^ I agree with you. In general, in the day to day living, I am the same way. I am talking about over-extending one's knowledge base, trying to be PC by passing on greetings when they are unsure of or ignorant to the meaning of the holiday or event bringing them on. If it isn't MY religious holiday, and I am NOT sure what it really means, it seems odd to try to fake it. To me, that is being PC to a fault, and risking offending someone.

I think manners and social niceties are nice. I think being PC is overboard, at times.

I try to ALWAYS say, "good morning, how are you..." when I am on the phone with people. A huge percentage of the time there is silence at the other end...they weren't expecting or aren't used to such a greeting. Odd.

[pomtzu]

Yes - it's nice to strike up a random conversation with someone and be friendly - but some people still just don't get it.

Example - When I was at the vet with Sparky this past Tuesday, there was a woman in there with a cute little ShihTzu also. I tried to strike up a friendly conversation with her about her dog, and she looked at me like I had 2 heads, and appeared to not want to be bothered. I thought maybe her pup was really sick and she was worried about it and didn't want to chit-chat. But no - when she was at the desk paying and getting ready to leave - I heard the talk between her and the tech - and the pup was just there for a routine visit.

Damned if you do - damned if you don't!

[caseysmom]

Yes - it's nice to strike up a random conversation with someone and be friendly - but some people still just don't get it.

Example - When I was at the vet with Sparky this past Tuesday, there was a woman in there with a cute little ShihTzu also. I tried to strike up a friendly conversation with her about her dog, and she looked at me like I had 2 heads, and appeared to not want to be bothered. I thought maybe her pup was really sick and she was worried about it and didn't want to chit-chat. But no - when she was at the desk paying and getting ready to leave - I heard the talk between her and the tech - and the pup was just there for a routine visit.

Damned if you do - damned if you don't!

I don't get those kind of people either...pretty antisocial....

[sparks19]

^^ I agree with you. In general, in the day to day living, I am the same way. I am talking about over-extending one's knowledge base, trying to be PC by passing on greetings when they are unsure of or ignorant to the meaning of the holiday or event bringing them on. If it isn't MY religious holiday, and I am NOT sure what it really means, it seems odd to try to fake it. To me, that is being PC to a fault, and risking offending someone.

I think manners and social niceties are nice. I think being PC is overboard, at times.

I try to ALWAYS say, "good morning, how are you..." when I am on the phone with people. A huge percentage of the time there is silence at the other end...they weren't expecting or aren't used to such a greeting. Odd.

Yes I agree with all you have said

[kitten645]

On the flip side, I went to several farmers markets this last weekend. I noticed that the lady I buy from sometimes wasn't @ one. She was @ the next one we went to. I mentioned I had missed her @ the other one and was glad to see her. She launched into a tirade about the person who was in her space was a witch that was having her banned and she got a restraining order because she's her sister in law and she's turned her brother into a thief that stole her dads guns from the basement to frame him if he were to kill her to inherit the farm......blah blah blah This went on for quite an uneasy while, even as she weighted and took care of other customers. We finally just slowly stepped back and left! Sometimes you just never know what kind of a can of worms you open with a simple, well intentioned greeting!

[Cataholic]

^^ that is exactly what I am NOT referring to. That person is unhinged. Most people (at least the ones I deal with) are not unhinged. I don't think we should allow the .005% of our life's experiences influence the remainder (I can't do the math to figure it out!!).

[Edwina's Secretary]

^^ I agree with you. In general, in the day to day living, I am the same way. I am talking about over-extending one's knowledge base, trying to be PC by passing on greetings when they are unsure of or ignorant to the meaning of the holiday or event bringing them on. If it isn't MY religious holiday, and I am NOT sure what it really means, it seems odd to try to fake it. To me, that is being PC to a fault, and risking offending someone.

I think manners and social niceties are nice. I think being PC is overboard, at times.

I try to ALWAYS say, "good morning, how are you..." when I am on the phone with people. A huge percentage of the time there is silence at the other end...they weren't expecting or aren't used to such a greeting. Odd.

As always Cat - you have crystalized it! This thread is not...and at least originally was not...about wishing someone a good day or chatting up the clerk at the checkout.

The question was - how to deal with holiday greetings for holidays with which you are not familiar. I said, and still say - I would rather give an innocuous "my thoughts will be with you" that to offend. If some people think that trying not to offend is "PC" -- so be it.

As I recall there is an expression...."the road to hell is paved with good intentions."