Oh no, Scarlett, you are not alone, not at all. Our doggies are such a big part of our lives; they are family and we love them like family. When we lose them, there is a dark, empty space left in our hearts and our pain is very deep. And while it softens with time, it is never goes away completely. I lost my heartdog Jingles, a beautiful yellow Labbie girl, 4 years ago. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her terribly; sometimes I cry. I see her in all the places we went, the things we did, the place where she slept, the toys she loved. And while I am sad that I no longer have her physcial presence to comfort me, she lives on in my heart. When I am sad, I think of all the good times, those cherished memories; how she made me laugh, how she comforted me with her sweet kisses, the smell of her fur and I thank her for having brought such joy into my life. In return for this priceless gift of love, it is often our jobs as humans to accept the fact that in return for this unconditional love, we are left to bare the pain of their passing. Your family was trying to protect you and spare you added stress when they chose not to tell you of Webster's passing. You had a lot to deal with at the time. And perhaps your loss is a bit more difficult because you did not have time to prepare for his leaving; because you could not say your final goodbyes. But I'm sure he knew every day of his life how much you loved him. I think he knows even now, how much you miss him. Try to focus on the happy times and your special memories. I truly believe that one day in the distant future we will be reunited again with our beloved furfriends. Try too to hold onto that thought. And never forget that your feelings of sadness and your sense of loss is shared by so many people who, like you, were blessed with the incredible love and devotion of a beautiful dog. {{{hugs}}} Sandra