Rant.

[Roxyluvsme13]

I don't want to say anything bad about your mom. She is your mom & you love her.
But, child support is money to support you, not for use to support a household. I'm sorry
that you have these worries at this stage of your life. Prayers for both you & your mom.

Yeah, I know. Sigh. Thanks for the support.

Why is your mom still receiving child support for a 19 year old? If NO child support was coming in, there would be NO income coming into the house? Your thought process, "she did this for this long, now I have to take this..." is seriously flawed. If someone was good to you for ten years, do you allow them to beat you for the next 5? Different set of facts, but same thing.

Parents DO 'owe' it to their children to raise them. She wasn't doing you a favor by feeding and clothing you, Bri. She owed you that. She didn't go any extra mile. Food, shelter..those are considered basic necessities, not doing someone a favor. Staying with someone, in what sounds like a unhealthy environment, because they gave you food/shelter at some point isn't really a strong argument.

I know this sounds mean...but, really....you are going to go down with her. And, that stinks.

My dad owes/owed like years and years of back pay in child support because when my parents divorced (when I was 1), he only paid for a short time and then quit and didn't pay for a good 10 years at least. So my mom said he's going to pay back everything he owes and he's going to continue to pay to make up for lost time. I think she's kind of being a ***** about it, I mean yes, my dad owes me that money and he should have paid it, but my dad works his *** off and is feeding 6 people right now (and yeah, that's his own fault too and I don't feel sorry for him because he was a jerk and cheated on my mom and is with his awful wife now) but he does work hard, and I don't think my mom should be so hard about the child support. Also, one time my dad offered to mail me the child support checks (this was last year) and I told him he couldn't do that because my mom wouldn't have any money. Maybe I'm too nice for my own good, because child support is supposed to be my money, not hers...

Anyway, yes. There would be no income aside from my excess financial aid that I get every semester (which is now gone because I used it to help my mom with bills, food for the animals, gas for my car, some car maintenance, gas for my mom's car, and a few other things that I shouldn't have bought, but I splurged anyway...)

Of course I wouldn't let someone beat me or something like that, but I'm not going to abandon my mom after all she's done for me... she raised me on her own with no help from my father for a long time, and I always admired her for that, but her being the way she is now, just makes me sad and frustrated. And we argue all the time and I need to get out of here and be on my own but I'm afraid she'll get rid of the animals while I'm gone.

I won't let myself go down with her. I'm trying to stay afloat. Trying to manage my way through school and find a job and do anything I can, but it's just not enough and I'm freaking out because I have no idea what I'm going to do about money or anything. And I hate arguing with her all the time and seeing her sit here and not do anything.

[Cataholic]

You are a good person, Bri. I hate to think of how hard this all must be for you.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Your situation sounds very stressful, and I know personally how hard it is to worry about money. Your campus probably has free resources for students - have you thought about talking to someone to help you manage your stress levels? I have some problems with managing stress, myself, and tend to get physical manifestations of it when I am really stressed (mainly migraines, which are horrible).

I understand that you want to help your mom; but I think others are right that she has to want to help herself, too. I know as a parent I would do anything within my power to see my daughter happy and successful and I'm sure your mom wants that for you too. You can still be supportive by calling her and seeing her when you can, but maybe it's best if you find another place, like living on campus (which is likely more affordable than an apartment and you will never have to worry about getting to class).

Is there someone else you know (family member or friend) who would be willing to watch your pets in the mean time?

[Roxyluvsme13]

Johanna, I try to be. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so nice.

Your situation sounds very stressful, and I know personally how hard it is to worry about money. Your campus probably has free resources for students - have you thought about talking to someone to help you manage your stress levels? I have some problems with managing stress, myself, and tend to get physical manifestations of it when I am really stressed (mainly migraines, which are horrible).

I understand that you want to help your mom; but I think others are right that she has to want to help herself, too. I know as a parent I would do anything within my power to see my daughter happy and successful and I'm sure your mom wants that for you too. You can still be supportive by calling her and seeing her when you can, but maybe it's best if you find another place, like living on campus (which is likely more affordable than an apartment and you will never have to worry about getting to class).

Is there someone else you know (family member or friend) who would be willing to watch your pets in the mean time?

We do have resources. I'm just not sure how much they've helped me. I don't think I'd be very open about my problems to a complete stranger, even if it would help me.

I know she wants the best for me and is trying to do that, but I don't think she's realizing how much this is upsetting me. How much I hate arguing with her, and how it frustrates me to no end that she won't even try to do anything. And if I even mention it, I've mentioned something about finding a job before, she gets extremely defensive and says "no one is going to hire me" and that sort of thing.

I'm going to live on campus next year, even though my house is only 25 minutes away, I think it'd be best if my mom and I spend some time apart again. Being together 24/7 just doesn't work anymore.

And no, there's no one that would watch the pets :/. My mom doesn't mind taking care of Lily, Domino, and Tallulah, it's just Brennan and Bella she has a problem with... I might have to do something with Bella anyway, because I'm not sure if we're going to be able to keep her, but maybe I can manage something for Brennan so he won't have to suffer while I'm not there too.

Thanks for all the advice

[mrspunkysmom]

Bri,

You're young and although it will be tiring, you'll survive working and college at the same time. I wish you luck in your endeavors. And I hope your mother can start caring for herself. Just hang in there.

[Roxyluvsme13]

I've got to get out of this house... we argue all the time and it's so frustrating. I'm going to go somewhere tonight and hang out with some friends for a little while or something, but I'm kind of afraid to leave. She just almost threw Bella out the front door and is threatening to throw them all out when I'm gone... I don't know what to do.

[caseysmom]

I've got to get out of this house... we argue all the time and it's so frustrating. I'm going to go somewhere tonight and hang out with some friends for a little while or something, but I'm kind of afraid to leave. She just almost threw Bella out the front door and is threatening to throw them all out when I'm gone... I don't know what to do.

Only you know if she is capable of that but it does sound like you both need a break from each other.Years ago a man was at the shelter saying goodbye to his two dogs because his wife threw them out on the street why he was gone and he was giving them up because he knew she would do it again, I hope you mom isn't that cruel.