Rant.

[Taz_Zoee]

I do not know anything about depression. But I can only imagine one question that is going through your mind reading the previous posts.........how am I supposed to confront her about her depression? That would just set off another arguement. At least that's what I'd be afraid of.

So here's my question to others out there. How can Bri approach this topic with her mom without making things potentially worse?

[Roxyluvsme13]

All I can give you is my sympathy.

I can tell you from someone that suffers from depression and boatloads of stress, that inactivity and inaction is the worse thing for it. We get stuck in a rut and don't know how to lift ourselves out. I find that I have to take some action. I might not get the expected or wishful outcome but I feel better for trying. Have you tried talking to counselors to see what help is available for her. Knoxville should have a Job Service office, the main goal of which is to help you find a job and get the training.

Here are some links I searched for your mom and these night be helpful to you, too. I'm not sure what resources you have used, so I just researched anything helpful.

http://www.discoveret.org/jobserv/

http://www.knoxvilletennessee.com/social-svs.html

http://www.tn.gov/labor-wfd/jobseekers.html

http://www.tennhelp.com/

http://www.tn.gov/humanserv/rehab/vrs.html Don't overlook vocational rehabilitation. You would be surprised at what services they offer that might not be advertised. You are too young, but they can help your mother, especially if she was previously employed, and is sick because she's not seeing a doctor.

http://voices.yahoo.com/free-low-cos...d-3247153.html

http://www.freemedicalclinic.net/

http://www.interfaithhealthclinic.org/index.html

Visit some of these places and ask for help. If an organization can't help, they usually know who can.

Would your mom agree to a field trip to some of these places? What about intervention from some friends?



As far as your getting a job; hang in there. Getting refused for job offers is depressing. It destroys your self worth. Most of us want to be active, productive, contributing to the family and the world.

Brennan is probably picking up on the household stress. I think Sam was picking up on my stress which has never been that high.

Hang in there. Keep the faith. Rant all you want.

Thank you . I'll look into some of these, though she went to a job thing (she has to for our food stamps) but didn't take it very seriously, so I don't know how she'd go about any of these other things. But I will still definitely check them out.

I do not know anything about depression. But I can only imagine one question that is going through your mind reading the previous posts.........how am I supposed to confront her about her depression? That would just set off another arguement. At least that's what I'd be afraid of.

So here's my question to others out there. How can Bri approach this topic with her mom without making things potentially worse?

This is a very good point. She's pretty touchy these days. Especially about herself.

[mrspunkysmom]

I do not know anything about depression. But I can only imagine one question that is going through your mind reading the previous posts.........how am I supposed to confront her about her depression? That would just set off another argument. At least that's what I'd be afraid of.

So here's my question to others out there. How can Bri approach this topic with her mom without making things potentially worse?

I don't know. I know that sometimes thing got to get worse before getting better. I know that doesn't make it any easier. I also know that Bri's mom has to make this decision herself. Sometimes it does help if you are forced to face the issues. Perhaps just start with getting her medical help and then bring up the depression and joblessness with her doctor. Once she starts feeling better she might want to do this herself.

Perhaps some friends can involve her in activities? Just throwing out ideas. I have friends I bounce ideas off of, and all over the world as well as local. I am getting ready to visit some friends before heading to Mass. Just want to check in on them, too.

Bri, some of those links can be helpful to you, too. Perhaps if you just bring home the literature she might get interested.

And only you can make this decision if you try to help her. But whatever action you take, let her know that it is because you love her and want her to feel good about what ever it is she is doing.

[Karen]

I would stress to her at the beginning that you love her, and want her to feel better about everything. Many people think Depression is just "feeling sad," when that doesn't cover it at all. It's a real medical problem, and affects every aspect of life. Do look at the links that were posted.

You know what? My cousin, now that I think of it, works for the state of Tennessee, in helping families. Let me email her and see if she has any thoughts, she's not too far away from you guys. either.

[Catty1]

Bri, you are being affected very much by this. Can you contact any of her friends and ask them to call her? If you have a doctor, or if there is some Mental Health Association or etc - even a Crisis Line - tell any or all of them what is going on.


I don't know about the law where you live, but here in Alberta if anyone says anything about wanting to kill themselves, the police can be called and they will break the door down if necessary and take the person to a hospital for an assessment.

Your mom has a choice - she can seek help voluntarily now, or wait til she has no choice in being taken for help.

I have dealt with depression myself - thank goodness it has been much better for years.

Anyway, seek help for yourself (for the problem you are having with your mom) and help may come her way.

HUGS

[Roxyluvsme13]

I just feel like talking about all of this with her isn't going to do anything. I've tried to get her to go to doctors for years, and she had to make that choice on her own. I think she's going to have to realize that if she needs help, she's going to need help. I can't force it on her. She's really stubborn and it just won't work.

And she's happy most of the time, so that's why I sort of doubt it's even depression. She's just having a rough time in life, and things don't always seem so optimistic, but I'm just not 100% convinced she is legitimately depressed... I think she just needs to get out of the house and do some things with friends, find her purpose. I've been trying to get her to start painting again (I bought her all sorts of paints, canvasses, an easel, etc.) to occupy her time with, but she also has pain issues (arthritis) and diabetes, of course, so I think that's why she hasn't been doing that yet...

I just feel really at a loss of what to do. She's not going to listen to me about any of this, I'm almost 100% sure of that.

Maybe we just need some time apart to do our own thing. We were both fine when I was at UT and she was 2 hours away last year.

I think she's bored, lonely, and frustrated moreso than anything.

[Karen]

I emailed my cousin, and she gave me some info for you. I'll PM you, okay?

[Cataholic]

Children (and you are, IMO, still a child ) shouldn't have to raise their parents. That must stink for you. If I were you, I would try my hardest to find homes for all the animals- as much as I know that pains you- and move out. Anywhere. In a 1 room efficiency if you have to, and live on student loans.

Your #1 job- Bri- is getting an education so that you are not dependent on another person in your life. You are not 'turning your back' on her (frankly, I think she has treated you shabbily for a while), you are making the most of your life. It isn't your responsibility to get her to seek mental or physical help, to put food on your table, or anything else. She should be doing all that for you (provided that she is financially able). I can't imagine stressing, at your age, about food and gas, and whether my parent was getting out of the house that day or not. Good grief.

If she wants to get help, she is an ADULT. She can and will get help. Otherwise, she is going to bring you down with her.