From recent personal experience, introducing a kitten to an adult cat causes less problems with the adult cat. Jane blended much quicker than Emily or Bob because she was 5 months at the time. However, too much younger than Jane and the cat's personality is not fully evident and you may be surprised. Spunky was originally sweet and snuggly at 6 weeks and became a demon at 3 months.
If you do get an adult, see if they will let you foster first for a trial basis. Try for a sweet kitty that is known to do well in a multicat household.
As for early spay/neuter, I've heard both sides. I will tell you that Spunky was done at 5 months since I think he went into "heat" early due to a female in heat. The vet had been difficult about neutering early. Another vet had me wait on Sam and he was done at 8 months. Oddly enough, Spunky is the sprayer, not Sam. And Spunky can have the kidney issues, but I resolved that with food years back.
As for purrsonality, my experience says that males are generally sweeter, but also more fun and active. Yet, Jane, is a sweet loving female that loves to play. Some of the purrsonality issues may have to do with the BREED and inbreeding and not gender. Some friends and family (myself included) have observed that Orangies are sweeter, demanding of attention, and prefer to be only cats. Yet Bob is as sweet and undemanding as can be.
I have observed that kitties are a lot more like humans when it comes to gender issues.
Just like people, you can't put them in a box with labels.
Good Luck with your decision.






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