Weighty topic

[Karen]

Catnapper, you and I both know your husband deciding to get up and go for a walk with you is not going to do much for his weight. 430 is beyond dangerous. Heck, there is a TV show about a 600 pound person (I forget the name). He is a health risk just waiting to explode. Why aren't the doctors addressing this? Why hasn't surgery been suggested? He could walk every day for the next year and it would probably do him more harm than good, all that stress on the joints, and asking the heart to maintain the blood flow.

Getting him to go for a walk can help motivate him to want to lose weight in other ways, too. That's why I suggested it. It might be uncomfortable, or out of breath easily, which then brings up "well, if you weigh less ..." It was not meant to imply him going for walks will do the trick, but it could start the ball rolling. Science has determined it is important that you get moving, and stay "in shape" even if you are technically overweight.

[Cataholic]

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

[Karen]

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

I disagree. He can obviously right now walk around his own home. Yes, he is morbidly obese. Yes, were I Kim, I'd make sure my CPR certification is up to date. But doing something - a simple walk, is better than nothing, don't you think?

My sister has had the lap band surgery. It did a great job for her. But she had to go through months of meetings and counseling before they would even do the surgery, and now has to be very precise about what and when she eats. It's not a magic bullet, by any means, and one has to have the proper frame of mind to get that process started, and it seems like right now he's in a bad place. I stand by my suggestion, and do not think it Pollyanna-like.

My sister by the way, is very pleased. At one point she said, "Let's see, by now I have lost ... 110 or - 'Hey! I've lost a whole Diane!" (Our teenage niece, who weighed about that at the time!) And we no longer fear her dropping dead of a heart attack at any moment, as we did for years. I am obese, myself, and need to work on losing weight more.

[Pinot's Mom]

Catnapper, you have a kindred soul here with the weight issues, I tend to the larger side myself. I have lost, at the most, 40 pounds at a time, but I have gained 30 back. I am currently an 18. Weight will probably always be sensitive with me as well. My husband is overweight, but nowhere near yours; he is currently working very hard, exercising and eating better, he's lost about 20 pounds. I should be working out with him - but I'm not.

I'm glad you mentioned counseling exists with you and your husband; that denial of his morbid obesity needs to be addressed. I'm sure there are other issues beyond weight. I wish you both a lot of luck with it and I think as soon as he has a breakthrough in that area he can have a breakthrough with his weight. Try to walk with him, talk with him on those walks, and see where it leads.

Good luck!

[caseysmom]

There was a show about a woman that went from over 700 lbs to now 250 or something like that I can't remember her name but it was about the small steps, small walks, etc mild excercize, one step at a time.

Of course swimming is probably better if possible no stress on the joints etc.

[dab_20]

Many people are extremely sensitive about their weight. I completely understand you mentioning it to your husband, since his weight is now life threatening.

I'm sensitive about my weight. I am overweight, not by much, but it is extremely frustrating because I LOVE food, and I just can't seem to lose any weight because I can't change my habits. My junior year of high school I lost 30 lbs, from 170 to 140. I felt great, I could finally fit in cute clothes without feeling self conscious. I felt energetic, I could run up stairs without getting tired. Since I started college nearly two years ago, I have gained 25 lbs back and it seems to still be creeping up. My fat jeans are now skinny jeans and it's frustrating and depressing.

My fiance does say things to me about what I eat and it pisses me off. I know he means well, but it hurts my feelings! Does he not realize I already HATE the way I look? When he says things like "Why don't we start going to the gym together", or "Why don't we start eating healthier", it makes me less sensitive because he uses the word "we". I don't know why that helps. Not that he needs to lose weight.... he could eat a whole cow and still look great....

I wish luck to you with your weight loss, and I hope your husband realizes he needs to do something about his too. Try to get him to exercise with you and eat better.

[kitten645]

I can relate to the weight issues. I've always been battling it. I did WW years ago and did okay with it. My friend and I just joined again six weeks ago. I have to say I LOVE it. I think it's important to do it with someone and to do the meetings. It makes you accountable to someone other than yourself. It's much easier than counting calories as there are some calories that are better than others. WW takes fiber, fat, protein & carbs and assigns a point value to the food. You can then spend your points each day and some extra ones for the week for special occasions. It's amazing when you are conscience of what you put in your mouth! You can pretty much have anything you want to eat but you have to budget your points. Portions are also a revelation! A normal size portion is generally a cup. A restaurant will generally give you 3-4 servings per any given meal! It's ridiculous.
All that being said, I would never bring up or mention anyone's weight or eating habits. It's a personal thing. I applaud you for trying to save your hubbies life. At least you know you are trying. I lost 60 lbs about 10 years ago. The only thing that got me there was being sick and tired of being sick and tired There's nothing anyone can say or do that will change that. It has to be a decision made by the person themselves. No amount of comments or suggestions will get you there until you get yourself to the point where you're ready to deal with it.
I personally would do anything to avoid surgery, needles etc but that's just me. My suggestion would be to find a friend, get to WW and work on your own weight lose. Maybe if you just tell your husband, you can't have certain things in the house because they are too high in points for YOUR consumption, he'll get inspired and join you. I absolutely know that I'll be counting points for the rest of my life. I just have to be diligent about tracking them and eat mindfully.
Check out WW. They give you a free meeting so you can see if that's the way to go for you.