Weighty topic

[BitsyNaceyDog]

It always bothers me to hear people say "You've lost weight! You look great!"... Um, thanks, I guess I didn't look great before just because my weight was up.

[Karen]

Can you just ask him to take walks with you to keep you company, exercise with you and things like that to get him moving more? That might help him, and motivate him more than talking ... Explain that it would be a big help to YOU if he'd walk with you ... so he feels like it's not about him ...

[Cataholic]

Struggling with weight issues stinks. It seems the issues are rarely about the food itself. It is about why we eat, or overeat. Its not about wanting to be healthier, or knowing what is wrong with a bag of BBQ chips (guilty as charged here), it is about not addressing the underlying reasons we eat. For comfort, for stress, for whatever it might be for the person.

Catnapper, you and I both know your husband deciding to get up and go for a walk with you is not going to do much for his weight. 430 is beyond dangerous. Heck, there is a TV show about a 600 pound person (I forget the name). He is a health risk just waiting to explode. Why aren't the doctors addressing this? Why hasn't surgery been suggested? He could walk every day for the next year and it would probably do him more harm than good, all that stress on the joints, and asking the heart to maintain the blood flow.

On one hand, losing weight is as simple an equation as anything else. What goes in has to be less than what your body puts out, to the tune of 3500 calories for each pound you seek to lose. Really, eating 1000 calories of chips or 1000 calories of nutritional food doesn't make much of a difference when you are talking straight calories. One CAN become overweight on healthy food...figuring out WHY one is eating him/herself into an early grave is much more complex.

[Karen]

Catnapper, you and I both know your husband deciding to get up and go for a walk with you is not going to do much for his weight. 430 is beyond dangerous. Heck, there is a TV show about a 600 pound person (I forget the name). He is a health risk just waiting to explode. Why aren't the doctors addressing this? Why hasn't surgery been suggested? He could walk every day for the next year and it would probably do him more harm than good, all that stress on the joints, and asking the heart to maintain the blood flow.

Getting him to go for a walk can help motivate him to want to lose weight in other ways, too. That's why I suggested it. It might be uncomfortable, or out of breath easily, which then brings up "well, if you weigh less ..." It was not meant to imply him going for walks will do the trick, but it could start the ball rolling. Science has determined it is important that you get moving, and stay "in shape" even if you are technically overweight.

[Cataholic]

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

[Karen]

Catnapper's husband is not technically overweight. He is beyond morbidly obese. Telling him to get up and walk is akin to telling someone with no legs to walk. It is probably very unsafe, and not going to make a hill of beans difference to him. He could walk a full year's worth of walks and probably recognize minimal weight loss, which only adds to his frustration level, his commitment, etc, not to mention possibly places him at increased health risk. I am thinking he probably knows he would feel better/do better at a lighter weight.

430 pounds does not call for a Polly Anna response.

I disagree. He can obviously right now walk around his own home. Yes, he is morbidly obese. Yes, were I Kim, I'd make sure my CPR certification is up to date. But doing something - a simple walk, is better than nothing, don't you think?

My sister has had the lap band surgery. It did a great job for her. But she had to go through months of meetings and counseling before they would even do the surgery, and now has to be very precise about what and when she eats. It's not a magic bullet, by any means, and one has to have the proper frame of mind to get that process started, and it seems like right now he's in a bad place. I stand by my suggestion, and do not think it Pollyanna-like.

My sister by the way, is very pleased. At one point she said, "Let's see, by now I have lost ... 110 or - 'Hey! I've lost a whole Diane!" (Our teenage niece, who weighed about that at the time!) And we no longer fear her dropping dead of a heart attack at any moment, as we did for years. I am obese, myself, and need to work on losing weight more.

[Pinot's Mom]

Catnapper, you have a kindred soul here with the weight issues, I tend to the larger side myself. I have lost, at the most, 40 pounds at a time, but I have gained 30 back. I am currently an 18. Weight will probably always be sensitive with me as well. My husband is overweight, but nowhere near yours; he is currently working very hard, exercising and eating better, he's lost about 20 pounds. I should be working out with him - but I'm not.

I'm glad you mentioned counseling exists with you and your husband; that denial of his morbid obesity needs to be addressed. I'm sure there are other issues beyond weight. I wish you both a lot of luck with it and I think as soon as he has a breakthrough in that area he can have a breakthrough with his weight. Try to walk with him, talk with him on those walks, and see where it leads.

Good luck!