Sending Dad home tomorrow??? For good.....

**Queen of Poop** · 01-15-2012, 10:32 AM

The social worker called my Mom on Friday afternoon. They want to send my dad home for 3 days to see how he does. If good then they'll be soon sending him home permanently. If not good they will have to find a place for him to go for the duration. So someone will drive him home and pick him up after 3 days. He has to agree to this and know that he will be returned to the hospital after the 3 days or the RCMP (police) will remove him back to the hospital. I am concerned about my mom for this little trial. Her sanity/safety is in the balance as far as I can see. This is so not good. Thanks for listening, needed to vent/share.

**sasvermont** · 01-15-2012, 11:49 AM

Ugh. I haven't posted about this situation until now.

How about a third person staying with your Mom and Dad for those three days. I would feel much more comfortable about this third person being able to take care of an emergency, should it happen.

Let us know how it turns out.

Good luck.

**kuhio98** · 01-15-2012, 02:33 PM

Wait! What about her rights?
If she does not feel safe, she needs to tell them so. They would be negligent to send him home if the knew there was any danger to her safety. Physically or mentally. Can you get your objections on the record?

Bobcat's (husband) stepfather (who raised him) turned violent in his later years and attacked Bobcat with a knife. If Bobcat hadn't done wome quick thinking and wrapped his arm up in a sheet, he would have been severely injured. His stepfather felt awful when he came to his senses (after months in a psychiatric hospital) but Bobcat could have been killed.

Your father is unpredictable. You mother has rights too and her safety should come first. How can we get the hospital to acknowledge that.

**Freedom** · 01-15-2012, 02:34 PM

Um, last I read, I thought your mom said he was not coming back in the house. So a 3 day trial would have to be . . . someplace else?

I like the idea of having someone stay with them.

**Queen of Poop** · 01-15-2012, 03:51 PM

This came right out of the blue. Right before Christmas they told mom he was in for 6 months. Now they want to send him home on a trial??? I believe my response when she told me was "what the hell???". So when it can all be arranged in the next few weeks or sooner my dad will be going home for a visit. I already asked mom about having a third party there and told her to inquire about that with the social worker. He's never been violent with her (yet) so I guess everyone is banking on that. I've told her the minute he begins his old routine she needs to phone and have him removed before he escalates. I don't like this one bit, but I don't want to get my mom all worked up and stressed out. I've told her to let everyone around her know he's going to be home for 3 days so she can have people check in on her during that time and so that should she need to flee she will have a place and support. Good grief!!!

**pomtzu** · 01-15-2012, 04:01 PM

I'm with the others. If at all possible - have a 3rd person there - just in case. If not - can your Mom quickly alert a neighbor or someone close? If she has a cell phone or cordless phone, make sure that she has it with her at all times so she can call 911 if needed. Does she have a remote key fob for her car that has a panic button to push that will activate the horn until it's shut off? She could carry that with her and tell surrounding neighbors to listen for it if she was in trouble. I can't believe that the facility is actually letting him go on a home visit, seeing as that he is still so unstable. Praying for your Mom's safety.

**phesina** · 01-15-2012, 04:22 PM

Oh no.

That is a good idea to have a third person on hand. Otherwise, this should not happen.

Prayers that somehow this can be worked out for the best for all concerned.

,
Pat and cats

**krazyaboutkatz** · 01-15-2012, 04:38 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I don't think it's a good idea at all. I hope that your mom will be safe and I also agree that a third party should be there.

**cassiesmom** · 01-16-2012, 11:53 AM

Oh boy. I agree with everyone who said this doesn't sound good and perhaps a third person can be present. I'll keep praying.

And a candle
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/...g&cid=15124505

**mrspunkysmom** · 01-17-2012, 08:27 PM

I agree. Ditto. Prayers that all works out well.

**Queen of Poop** · 01-19-2012, 09:37 AM

Well, the social worker still has not called my mom back to advise of what, if any, actual plan they have for this. It's my Mom's 71st birthday today, hopefully they don't drop anything on her today.

**Queen of Poop** · 01-24-2012, 07:18 AM

My dad will be brought home on Jan 31 around noonish by a driver and an occupational therapist. The therapist will stay for a while, settle in my dad and explain things to my mom. On February 2nd around noonish again they will both be back to pick him up and take him back to the hospital. Apparently he does not understand why he can't just go home and stay home. My mom's ok with this "test" as it has to be done, no way around it. I don't like it one bit and I've coached her to make all preparations to keep herself safe and alive thru this. Not to say he will do anything but if you're over prepared for nothing then ok, but if you're under prepared then you've got big trouble. I've told her that if he starts getting the least little bit out of line she needs to call immediately, no hesitation, and have them retrieve him sooner. Take no chances!! Damn, I hope she's strong enough to get thru this.