Just want to thank everyone again for their words. I am glad I made the 2nd video. He needed something happy that celebrated his life. He was such a beautiful dog wasn't he?
I just still struggle a lot with it. With the snow outside, there are no "Tommy trails" meandering through the yard. I feel a twist in my gut every time I feed the girls and his eager face isn't there. But most of all I miss his coming up with his goofy golden grin squeaking his toy and inviting me to play with him while I work. Plopping it in my lap and wagging his tail. Then sometimes he'd decide play was secondary and he'd rather get some loves and he would just lean into me and gaze up with his big soft eyes. Logan, you are so right. There is no dog on earth like a golden. I will have another someday when the time is right. I know there is a local golden rescue around here, but I'm fighting off any temptation to look at all. Now is just not the time for several reasons. And I know what I really want is Tommy back.
I still get the jolts of panic hit me sometimes as it hits me again he has left this world. I'm just keeping distracted as much as I can. I miss him. Miss him so bad it physically hurts.
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