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Thread: A bit of a rant...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Ellicott City MD
    Posts
    5,733

    A bit of a rant...

    Up front - you don't have to read this, or respond, I just need to vent.

    As some of you know, I have a friend and her 17 year old daughter (my Goddaughter) staying with us. They were in a situation, needed help, I offered. They came in mid-November and will be here until the end of January.

    My husband and I have lived without other humans in the house (except for occasional visitors) for a LONG time. Pinot has lived with us now for 3 1/2 years and has her own routine as well. We're all a little set in our ways.

    Pinot's bed stays in a specific spot on the couch. Well, my Goddaughter and her Mom are stuck to each other like glue, and that spot is next to where the Mom sits, so the bed moves and the daughter sits there. I don't watch sci-fi; I evidently do now. My fridge and pantry are STUFFED with crap and I can't find anything. Mom smokes (no, not in the house); she smokes outside, puts the cigarette out, sticks it in her coat pocket until she gets to the trash can (in the garage). The coat REEKS. I have moved all our coats out of the front hall closet because of the smell. We have a substantially sized house. I can't get any private time (or hubby and I can't) unless we leave the house.

    This is just a partial list. You don't need the rest. I just want my peaceful Saturday morning back at the moment... I know...I offered...

    Thanks for listening. How many more weeks??
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    ​GO RAVENS!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Usually in my own little world...
    Posts
    4,875
    Feel free to rant. It is good to get it out. Three more weeks?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Delaware, USA - The First State/Diamond State - home of The Blue Hens
    Posts
    9,321
    Ugh - I can relate in a way. I lived alone for a lot of years after my ex and I separated, and now that I sold my house to son and DIL (and I stayed with it as part of the agreement), there is always someone here. Not that we don't get along, because we do, but I miss my space. It's nice to have someone here, especially if an emergency would arise, and it has , and I really wouldn't want to be entirely alone anymore, but I really look forward to them leaving for work each morning so that I have that "just me" time. I know that must sound crazy to some people, but when you get used to a certain routine and way of life, then it's not always easy to adjust to a new way. It's been 5 years and I'm still adjusting.

    Hang in there Maggie - just a few more weeks!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wolfy ~ Fuzzbutt #3
    My little dog ~ a heartbeat at my feet

    Sparky the Fuzzbutt - PT's DOTD 8/3/2010
    RIP 2/28/1999~10/9/2012
    Myndi the Fuzzbutt - Mom's DOTD - Everyday
    RIP 1/24/1996~8/9/2013
    Ellie - Mom to the Fuzzbuttz

    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power
    To know just when the hands will stop - on what day, or what hour.
    Now is the only time you have, so live it with a will -
    Don't wait until tomorrow - the hands may then be still.
    ~~~~true author unknown~~~~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,424
    You are a very tolerant hostess Thankfully it is only 3 more weeks; otherwise I would suggest putting some rules down - if only for the sake of your sanity

    Sidebar: Pinot will be so happy to have just her mommy and daddy back
    Yours in Whiskers

    I'm not young enough to know everything.

    "The Best Mirror is an Old Friend"

    “The secret of what is small is the secret of clear-sightedness; the guarding of what is soft and tender is the secret of strength.”

    • Lao Tzu

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    South Hero Vermont
    Posts
    4,746

    No good deed goes unpunished

    Well, I have had guests that created such horror too. We have all had them. Just remember to never do that again.

    Hold your breath for another few weekends and then it will be all over. It will probably take you years to get over this event. The cigarette smell alone, will be hard to get rid of totally.

    So what are you going to say the next time someone asks for help? Have the name of a really good health aid/agency available for him/her!

    You will go to heaven for being such a good person. The pain will ease eventually. I promise!

    You will have your life back soon!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Ellicott City MD
    Posts
    5,733
    Thank you all....calming breaths....
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    ​GO RAVENS!!

  7. #7
    I don't know how you do it. I would have thrown them out by now or made them WANT to leave. It won't be much longer.
    http://petoftheday.com/talk/signaturepics/sigpic9646_1.gif
    Forever in my heart...
    Casey.Ginger.Corey.Mandy.Sassy
    Lacey.Angel.Missy.Jake.Layla

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    trenton, new jersey
    Posts
    7,867
    Even though Mike and I live together we do respect each other's privacy and preferences. Maggie, having met you and Coop I know what wonderful people you both are. You were there to help when it was needed. You're in countdown now.

    Lovies to Pinot
    FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE.....BE A BAD EXAMPLE

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    22,005
    A friend of mine gave me this quote but I have no idea who first said it: "It is the duty of the host to make the guest feel at home, and the duty of the guest to remember he ISN'T."

    Countdown mode...it'll be here sooner than you think!
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    LOVE IT Catty1!!!

    It is VERY difficult when you've been living alone for so long. When we had the power outtage in October's NorEaster, I stayed with my BFF for one night and couldn't WAIT to get home, heat or not heat.

    I love Susie to death (I've known her since Jr. High). We've been through a lot together. But boy, I SO love my privacy. I can sit in my underwear, watch tv and belch on my couch if I want. Don't have to worry about pissing anyone off ('cept maybe the cats).

    Hang in there, girl!! Like Catmom said, you're now in countdown mode!!!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Concordia Lutheran Home in Cabot
    Posts
    7,815
    When I came to Concordia, I wasn't sure what kind of roommate I'd get. I didn't know his habits, what his history was or anything. However almost from the first handshake, I knew Barry and I would get along great! We both like old cars, we're both bachelors so we have an interest in girls, we're close in age, and in almost 21/2 years I don't think we ever argued. I won't give this guy up for anything!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    596
    Wow I give you credit for even asking them to stay, I don't know if I could do that. I have lived alone for many years and love it. My male companion (at my age I hesitate to call him a boyfriend) stays with me overnight at times but I like my alone time so it all works out. I was married many years ago and once was enough for me anyway.

    I hope the rest of this month goes quickly for you and there are not a lot of issues. I also would put my foot down if things get out of hand. Best of luck to you.


    "Happy is the home with at least one cat" - Italian Proverb

    Every life should have nine cats. – Anonymous

    "I've been frosted."

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Litter Box, Greenville, SC
    Posts
    5,307
    I would start now with some changes.

    Put their non-perishable foods in a box in their bedroom. Allot a small section of the fridge for their use. Put your cats bed back in its place. And schedule TV time.

    Is there a TV in the guest room?

    Do these step by step so that they get the idea they need to leave by the end of the month.

    And post a few proverbs around the house and include the one above.

    And bless you for putting up with that. I'm allergic to tobacco smoke, so any friend of mine would have to live in a pup tent out back.
    Anne
    Meowmie to Lucy Lou and Barney, and Aunt to Timmy (RIP)

    Former kitties now in foster care: Nellie aka Eleanor van Fluffytail (at a Cat Cafe), Lady Jane Grey, Bob the Bobtail, and Callie. Kimi has been adopted into another family that understands Siamese. HRH Oliver Woodrow von Katz is in a Sanctuary.

    I'm Homeless, but with resources, and learning to live again.


    RIP Timmy (nephew kitty) May 17, 2018, Mr. Spunky (May 10, 2017), Samwise (Dec 2, 2014), Emily (Oct 8, 2013), Rose (Sept 24, 2001), Maggie (Fall 2003)

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Paula, CA
    Posts
    27,648
    I think you're way too nice. Even though she's a long time friend, I think that I would've at least had some house rules written up and signed by her. I've had horrible roommates in the past so I can kind of relate. Now that I've been living alone for quite a while, I'm so much happier. At least this will all be over soon. I'd try to do what mrspunkysmom has said so she doesn't get too comfortable in your home and then decide to stay even longer. Good luck.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Ellicott City MD
    Posts
    5,733
    They ARE long time friends - 30 years...we've been through a lot...not helping them in this situation is, and remains, unthinkable. Would I be more forthright next time in the rules? Absolutely! No question!

    There are three TV's; one in the downstairs den, one in the main floor family room and one in the daughter's guest room (they each have their own room). We have managed to keep football sacrosanct on the main family room TV - non-negotiable.

    Yes, we are in countdown. The hubby will be in town for a few days this week to collect one vehicle (they're moving out to New Mexico; complicated situation). The daughter will be staying with grandparents after the Mom goes out to the new property on the 24th. The plane ticket is purchased.

    I'll let you all know when Pinot, Coop and I issue a big WHEW!!
    http://bestsmileys.com/cats1/4.gif

    ​GO RAVENS!!

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