My beloved, beautiful Tommy

[K9soul]

Oh Chris, I don't think badly of you at all for looking for a new friend to adopt. I wish I could too but I already have the 2 girls and things have already been tight, I need to make sure I can keep meeting their needs so it is not the right time for me to try and add on more.

The memories of him hurt but it's that sudden illness, the last few hours of his life that haunt me so badly. Of seeing him there, wanting to see his chest rise and fall with breath and knowing it never would again. His eyes as he looked up into my face before I left the vet's office, touching my cheek with his nose. I had no idea it was the last time I'd see him alive. I wish I could have held him longer. His toys lay around here untouched. Like they are dead too. It's so torturous.

I have had losses previously, but none so suddenly and shockingly. I just feel horribly depressed. I look at the girls and for the first time see how they lack things that Tommy fulfilled for me. Isn't that horrible? I need to sit down and write a list of all their special features and quirks. I just wish I could go back to feeling numb again.

[SadButGrateful]

Please don't beat yourself up with all the "what ifs" Tommy didn't revive from the surgery because he was very sick. It would only have been a matter of time. You would have had to make the decision to let him go...at least that decision was made for you. The vets know what they are doing. I'm sure they did all they could. It was just his time...
As far as the memories...I went through that about Rusty. Oh it hurt! I didn't know I could cry so hard. Then I woke up one morning, about a week after he passed, feeling terribly guilty about feeling so sad! It hit me that he never did anything to make me sad! He only gave me wonderful and joy-filled memories. I want to keep those memories in my heart and smile. I want to cherish them! Sure it hurts, but I won't let those memories go no matter how much it hurts sometimes.
I guess it's personal. Nobody can tell you how to feel. I'll end with a quote from Carolyn Scott about her dog, Rookie....
(they were the most famous canine freestyle team in the world)

"The only pain or sadness you ever brought me…..was the day you left me."

[K9soul]

Thank you for your comforting words, Val and SBG. I feel like I've begun accepting it more again. Not less sad, not missing him any less, but at least coming to terms more that it has happened. I thought I had before but seemed to relapse into not accepting. It is just very difficult.

I'm familiar with Rookie and Carolyn, have enjoyed watching them in the past. Her words certainly ring true.

[Varga]

I'm so sorry for not seeing this earlier but I still wanted to extent my sympathies to you for your loss. I always loved seeing photos of your girls and handsome Tommy. I especially remember one photo of him standing in the snow with a huge tree log in his mouth. He seemed like such a gentle and loving dog.

All the best to you.

[tikeyas_mom]

Thank you for your comforting words, Val and SBG. I feel like I've begun accepting it more again. Not less sad, not missing him any less, but at least coming to terms more that it has happened. I thought I had before but seemed to relapse into not accepting. It is just very difficult.

I'm familiar with Rookie and Carolyn, have enjoyed watching them in the past. Her words certainly ring true.

Im so sad to read this! Im soooo sorry Jessica. Its like no other pain in the world when your best friend dies- your dog... i am still aching from Tikeyas death. I will keep you in my thoughts, Tommy was such a good Golden boy, and one of my favorite PT pups as well.. Your video was beautiful, i wished I had the knowledge to make something like that for Tikeya. It brought me to tears.. Again I am so sorry for your loss

[beeniesmom]

I'm so sorry. Hugs to you. I'm crying for your loss.

[cloverfdx]

Jessica you have been in my thoughts .

SBG your last post has me in tears, it is so so true.

[dukedogsmom]

Words can't express how my heart is breaking for you. Its always hard to lose them but when it happens unexpectedly, it makes it that much harder. Know that Tommy passed knowing he was one of the most loved dogs in the world. And they do take something from us when they leave. But they also leave us with something so special, we can't put into words. Take care of yourself and we're all here if you need us.

[robinh]

I am so sorry for you loss! His passing mad so much harder by the suddenness of it. My prayers are with you and your family.

[Bonny]

K9Soul I am so sorry to read about the sudden passing of your Tommy. You are right they do take a piece of you with them & they leave warm memories for us to hold on too. (((HUGS))) RIP Tommy

[Cataholic]

I can't fathom the depths of your grief and the shock of it all. Jessica, I am so very sorry to hear that Tommy is gone. Words simply fail me. Much love sent to you across the miles.

Johanna

[anna_66]

I was so saddened to hear that Tommy didn't come back around for you to say goodbye My heart breaks for you because I know how it is to loose that most special boy.
Our thoughts are with you as you go through this hard time.

[Freedom]

So sudden, no warning, a true nightmare. I am in tears. All of us here on PT share a deep love with our pets, and we shudder at the shock you must feel. You are here in the right place at this horrible time, for support and understanding.

RIP Tommy, you were loved.

[pomtzu]

I'm so sorry, and I know how much your heart is breaking. It seems even more difficult when it's sudden and we don't have the opportunity to come to terms with the pending end when we know that they have to leave us. When it's unexpected, it's like having your heart ripped out with no prior warning, no time to say your good-byes.....

RIP handsome Tommy, and peace to your Mom. Many healing prayers are being offered from us here in Delaware.

[Lilith Cherry]

I am so sorry! Lots of loving thoughts to you and play well at the bridge Tommy