I have a problem...

[caseysmom]

Just say you love to cook but hating doing...well other things...you may want to mention that the first thing you do when going into the kitchen is wash your hands...

[Husky_mom]

the picky/allergy approach is what I´d do.. and well.. in reality.. I´m very picky..even when my mom cooks :P ..I got used to my own way and now back here sometimes I´d rather eat something else (not higyene related..lol.. more like pieces cut too big or too small.. haha)

[catnapper]

We've had similar conversations at work. I myself would want someone to tell me if I was doing something you felt unsanitary. You would just have to approach it in a non-judgmental way. I might be hurt at first, but if brought up without accusing me, I'd think about it and realize you were just being a friend who cares. (once my sister in law disbelieved the fact that I washed my hands in hte powder room and sent me back to rewash my hands where she could watch me before I could hold her baby... honestly I KNOW how to wash and dry my hands. She's just an obsessive, never happy, never satisfied prima donna. THAT incident insulted me and still does)

Many people were either brought up differently or have different ideas of cleanliness. I talked to some people who honestly feel as a society we're way too clean. They say we intake more dirt and debris than we ever are aware. She said there are super germs out there because of our obsession with cleanliness. People like that are never going to meet our standards and only make issues for everyone involved. In that case, I'd steer her to other chores and make up some excuse like how you look forward to kitchen work.

[sasvermont]

I am on the "re-direct" side. Send her off to do other things that would make life easier for you. I doubt your friend would ever change unless you prove to her that she is going to kill someone with her lack of skills. I personally like a clean kitchen and bathroom. The other rooms can become dusty etc. but not those two rooms. I bleach my dishes and stainless steel every couple of months and keep the stove top spotless. When I visit my two friends with glasstop stove, I freak out just looking at them. I would never say anything to them, because I know I am the one being silly about it. Oh, I am also a clean refrigerator freak too!

Just send that lady friend of yours to the yard to prune, or the store to shop, or the vacuum to clean..... Ask her nicely - no need to upset the living arrangements at this point. Now if she was there forever, I would say that you should address the problem up front - but not just for a couple of months.

Women like their own kitchens - and hands off to everyone else. I have a friend with the most beat up cookie sheets and I would love to give her new ones but she wouldn't use them..... I like new, clean ones.....but that is me....

Enjoy your friend for the time you have together. She will enjoy being there too, if you let her know what makes you happy...without insulting her already established standards, however low they might be....

Good luck. True friends are hard to come by.... and they may not be perfect!

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I'd probably try to set an example. Maybe ask for her help (rather than let her cook by herself) and then say something like "could you please wash the counter before we start, there could be some dust or cat hair on it" ... or "after you wash your hands, can you please wash and dice the tomato. I use a dab of soap on the tomato when I wash it. Thanks, it's a lot of fun having a good friend cooking beside me in my kitchen."

[Cat Daddy]

All good suggestions here. I would start by telling your guest that you and Coop have very sensitive stomachs and are very particular about how your food is prepared. Then explain how important it is to you that you wash your hands because of how easily bacteria is spread and give her an example, for instance an E-coli outbreak. Then explain that you could use her help much more with other chores instead. There, I think I've stolen everyone elses ideas now. Watcha think?

[Kirsten]

Hmmm, tough question, especially as she's a good friend and you don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think I would do it as others have already suggested. That doesn't sound too hurtful 'cause you're not blaming her for not being clean enough, but referring to your standards, which is a normal thing as it is your house.

I had a similar problem some years ago. 2004 after my first back surgery, a neighbor helped me at home with some things (while I was in hospital, and also later when I was at home after surgery). And there, I saw her cleaning the litter boxes, and then grabbing into a bag of jelly beans that an American friend had sent to me! Without washing her hands!! I have to admit, I was shocked and furious and told her she could have the entire bag now, because I would no longer eat any of those jelly beans. Then, I actually had to explain to her that litter boxes, the scoop, and the container with the used cat litter are contaminated with urine, poop, and probably all kinds of germs! Obviously, that thought didn't even occur to her before I told her because after that, she didn't want the jelly beans any more! lol Imagining that she probably had never washed her hands after cleaning the litter boxes, I started cleaning all the door handles and other things she might have touched when she was gone...

[pomtzu]

Since you've been friends for such a long time, she probably knows too much about you for you to be able to give her the allergies or sensitive stomach routine. And since you have a cleaning lady (I presume you still do), then cleaning would probably be out too, except for maybe straightening up a bit in between the regular visits by her. I rather like what KBlaix suggested - helping you with some of the cooking, but under your direction. Also running any errands and doing some of the laundry. Other than that, can't think of anything that would be of much help to you. Sorry.......