Handsome Cato is not lost; he has merely moved on to his eternal youth. That's a bit of consolation for you, but it doesn't fill that big empty hole in your heart and in your home. All is well with Cato now, and all will be well with you - in time. Nineteen years is an extraordinarily long time - of course you hurt! But just as it took time for your love to develop, so it will take time to heal. May Cato's Creator help you to find peace.