Oh drat, I hate when something like this develops.

She will be difficult to rehome, with the recurring cystitis, I think.

It is lovely that she spends time with you in bed nightly.

Some of mine are social butterflies, others only want Dad and I, no other humans, dogs, etc. Personalities are different, just as with humans. Do you really think she is unhappy, or are you maybe projecting? You sound like someone who loves all the activity. If she is able to find her quiet times, maybe that's not so bad for her?

Mandy can't stand Tommy. She has her places, and if he dares invade HER area, she starts screaming -- and she knows I will come chase him away. If I go out for any length of time, one of them is behind closed doors, so she doesn't have to worry. Other than that, she is fine.

So maybe you just work with what you have? Just tossing out ideas.