Unsure what to do about Charlie

**Karen** · 10-13-2011, 07:34 AM

Aww, what a hard situation. But it does sound like a new, quieter home might be best for her, as hard as that will be on you. How old is Sherpa? In the meantime, could you somehow separate them at night so he won't get the chance to harass the poor girl?

**catmandu** · 10-13-2011, 09:21 AM

You might have to make a space for Charlie where she is the ony Cat if you can.

I was prepared to do that fo My Josephine

of many names, but it ooks as though they have signed a truce.

**Taz_Zoee** · 10-13-2011, 09:50 AM

Awww, poor Charlie. They sound a little like Paizly and Jax, except he doesn't try to mount her (only the Zoee does that to Taggart

). But Paizly also hides when we have company, or the dogs bark (which is a LOT). But as she has gotten older she seems to have chilled out more. I can tell because when I had my friends cat (G) here for 4 months you could see the fear in her eyes. I just kept the temporary cat locked in the room, since he couldn't behave himself. But now she fusses and gets pissy with Jax but all the while her tail is playfully wagging and you can just tell she is relaxed. She's just being a little b*&%#.

I know how difficult it would be for you to give her up, but as you stated....she is unhappy. And I know you want whats best for her. Do you have any friends or family that would take her in so you could still have visitation with her? I know that's a LONG shot, but thought I'd ask.

I have confidence that you will do what is right for Charlie. I'm just so sorry it isn't working for her.

**Freedom** · 10-13-2011, 09:59 AM

Oh drat, I hate when something like this develops.

She will be difficult to rehome, with the recurring cystitis, I think.

It is lovely that she spends time with you in bed nightly.

Some of mine are social butterflies, others only want Dad and I, no other humans, dogs, etc. Personalities are different, just as with humans. Do you really think she is unhappy, or are you maybe projecting? You sound like someone who loves all the activity. If she is able to find her quiet times, maybe that's not so bad for her?

Mandy can't stand Tommy. She has her places, and if he dares invade HER area, she starts screaming -- and she knows I will come chase him away. If I go out for any length of time, one of them is behind closed doors, so she doesn't have to worry. Other than that, she is fine.

So maybe you just work with what you have? Just tossing out ideas.

**mrspunkysmom** · 10-13-2011, 05:03 PM

My Sam would like to be an only cat, but sadly that is not the case for him. He has a refuge up high, that most cats "ignore." Mr. Spunky is the only one daring enough to approach, but he doesn't like getting hit with water so it doesn't happen often.

Sam would be better off in a one-cat home, but he's here and after 8 years I'm just not giving him away.

**snakemama** · 10-14-2011, 01:23 PM

Thank you to everyone for the advice!! I've been rolling this problem around in my head a lot, and I think that for the time being the plan will be this:

First, to get her a really tall cat tree with a hidey-hole at the top so that she has a refuge from Sherpa.

Second, once this foster dog leaves (her permanent home is picking her up at the end of the month), I'm not taking on any more fosters. It's too hectic for me and Charlie both. I love this foster puppy, but I'm sick of her too.

Third, I'll keep making sure she can get away from Kyubey by blocking off the upstairs for the time being. We'll keep using the feliway also.

There's no way to shut the kitties in separate rooms unfortunately, because we're in a loft. Sherpa can easily jump the cardboard barrier that keeps Kyubey downstairs.

I've tried a "calming collar" on Charlie before, and didn't notice anything except that she found the collar uncomfortable for the entire month.

Has anyone tried tryptophan based calming treats? We sell these at my work, but I haven't had any feedback from customers so I just don't know how well they work.

If I don't see a noticeable difference in her in a few months' time, I have a few ideas of where to start putting out feelers for an only-pet home. My grandparents life in a senior mobile home park and may have friends there who would love a cat. I have a lot of customers who do rescue and may have contacts to help me.

I don't actually think the cystitis would be a huge stumbling block. It's VERY easy to tell when she's flaring up (she starts to pee in the sink) and VERY easy to treat. Actually, since I switched her to a fish-based kibble in the morning and wet food in the evening, she's only had one flare up in a year's time!

I really don't want to see her leave here. She's my bunny-soft, squeaky little lovebug. I just don't want her to be unhappy because I want her around.