The sheer size of the dog and the kitten may be the top contributers here.
Not to say there aren't gentle giants. BUT, large creatures who would normally NOT be dealing a fatal blow to a large cat or another dog can easily accidentally do so to a small thing. The dog did not, I don't think, growl and bare its teeth, and then shake the poor thing to death. He had a moment of doggy defense- he snapped at something, hard. To me, it does not sound like his intention was to hurt, certainly not to kill. I know you are angry at the dog, but it sounds like she has no history of violence. It sounds like a horrible accident, that probably startled the dog as well. That the dog was hit may have startled her as well, and especially because of her age I do NOT recommend ever using physical means like that, though I'm sure you were startled at the time, and I understand your main goal was to try and save the kitten.
The dog is 12- is she blind? Does she have any sort of dementia? Athritis (pains)? Food aggression? Deafness? Any number of old-dog problems can cause them to snap, out of cranky annoyance, startlement or more likely, pain. I've had the scars to prove it, as I have owned many older dogs. A blind one we had once, my mom went to cuddle him in his sleep (bad move for an old, blind ex racer) and he bit her on the head. Not hard enough to go to the hospital, but it was a learning experience, a painful one.
Just throwing in my two cents. I understand that there is a lot to consider. One thing I can say for sure, I would consider re-homing the remaining kitten for safety reasons, as you were thinking of doing!
I am very sorry for your loss. It is devestating for such a young life to be taken and to go through that first-hand.
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