Major LIFE CHANGES making life a mess UPDATED #19

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm sorry that you are dealing with so much stress, that's never easy.

I get migraines, too, so I have an idea of what you are dealing with!! I hope things at school get easier and your boyfriend is more understanding. Like others said, he really needs to grow up and be more supportive of you.

[jennielynn1970]

Another smashing migraine today. I think these are tied to the weather as well as stress and anxiety. So, another day missed.

I just worry that it will really make me look bad to my administrators. I explained to the one about the migraines, and she was like, Oh, honey, I get them, my sister gets them, I know exactly what you mean. And when I told her all the meds I'm on for them, she was just astounded. So, that was a good thing I am thinking. I just want to make it in to school at this point!!! That is my main goal!!! If I were at my old school, I'd have my office to hide out in and my assistant to go out and help out with the work. I have none of that now. Now it's me on my own, no office and no help. Sigh. Change stinks!!!

Not sure if Dave will stop by on his way home or not. I didn't msg him this AM that I stayed home from school again. He will be upset.

I am getting lesson planning done. Or at least the foundations for lessons done because I have no idea if these schools have the books that I need that I want to do the lessons for. I'll need to borrow them from another school if they don't have them. Some are oldies but goodies, some are newer but not that well known. I had built up a great collection at each school to do what i liked with them, and then moved up to middle school. Now I've left that collection behind as well. Not sure what kind of funding we receive at these new buildings I am at. With what I'm looking at on the shelves, it looks like NONE to very little. We should receive funding for ONE BOOK PER STUDENT EACH YEAR, but we never see that happen!!! They funnel our monies away to other budget items. It's so lovely when they do that, and we can do nothing about it. We've gone to the union, we've protested at the budget meetings and we were told to sit down and shut up.
Nice, huh???

OH well. So, I'm getting some "posters" made, will see if I can laminate them when I'm at that school again. I have an order through a company to buy funky pencils to give out to the best behaved students in the class. They aren't cheap, but they are cool (they bend and the end is in the shape of a star!). Still need to buy the basics, like tissues and hand sanitizer though since we aren't provided with them. And little kids carry lots of germs. Thankfully I have a sink in each library!! I will be OCD about washing my hands!!!!!

So my mood is a little better about school, just not the boyfriend. I don't want to let him go. I just want him to be more understanding and less lecturing me like a father. I know what happens when I run out of sick days.... I don't get paid for sick days. It's happened before. I know it's early in the year. I know. I want to get in there, but with my migraines, I'd be a hindrance not a help and I'd be sick, not in any shape to teach. SIGH. He just doesn't get it. *Slap to the forehead*

[dab_20]

This sounds like a very stressful time for you, I'm sorry. I haven't had migraines, but I used to get severe anxiety from a medication I used to take. It would come out of no where, I hated it!

Do you exercise on a daily basis? I know with a busy life it can seem hard to make time. But if you do, exercise reduces stress and makes you feel more energetic. Not only that, it usually helps with migraines! If you hate going to the gym, maybe pick up a fun sport you can do with the bf or a girlfriend you might have. Even just taking a brisk 20 minute walk a day can make a difference. Pilates and yoga are great for stress relief.

I HATE going to the gym and working out in general. My bf and I started playing tennis together. Its SO much fun. Its made me feel less stressed, more energetic, and has brought some fun into our relationship.
Talk with your bf about things that are bothering you (You probably already have). Make a plan about how you guys can change your relationship into something more positive. Do something fun together; sign up for classes to learn a language you've wanted to learn, maybe some volunteer work you're both interested in, etc.

I know how easy it can be for people to say "let him go", when they may not know the whole story. It's for you to decide whether you think you can change your relationship, or whether it won't be healthy in the long run. Just make sure whatever you decide will make YOU happy down the road.

[jennielynn1970]

Wanted to update this thread...

Since I started this thread, I began going to a neurologist and he put me on Topomax, and we've upped the dose to where I'm taking it 2 tablets, twice a day, and it's working like a dream. The only time that it's not working well is when I get my "time" of the month. Yay. So, now we're trying a new medication called FROVA. I'm to take it for 5 days in a row, whether I have a migraine or not, so I take it at breakfast with my other meds, and it's supposed to last until the next day. It's supposed to be a long acting migraine medication. Not sure that it's THAT long acting, as I'm up now with a migraine, but I just took my medications for this morning, which means I just took another Frova. Hopefully it kicks in soon.

Things with school have kinda evened out. I'm making it to school more. I have to. I'm out of sick days, which means any days I take are without pay. NOT GOOD. I can't afford that. And also, my one principal had me to go the head of human resources to "have a talk" to see whether I needed a health sabbatical for 1/2 a year. I had an extra rough time in October. I didn't post anything here, but my boyfriend, Dave, and I split up. I walked in on him and another woman having sex in the cabin up at Sunny Rest. It really just took everything out of me. I wasn't expecting it, and I just lost it. I had a mini breakdown, and was out of school for 4 days. I wrote an email to my principals, letting them know what happened, and why I was out. I thought they would be understanding.... well.... the one was (she was fantastic!). The other, MALE, was a jerk. He was the one who sent me to HR to have the "talk". I felt so betrayed. He has no compassion. I absolutely hate going to that school. It's a test every single week just to go there and know I have to see his face. The kids, they are different. I adore most of the kids. It's just having to deal with HIM that I dislike intensely and he makes me so nervous and anxious. I was out 2 days from his school this week due to bronchitis and not being able to breathe, and I have a doctor's note, so he better not send me back to HR because of it. I just am worried like crazy about it. I don't trust him, and what do you do when you don't trust your administrator??? You're constantly looking over your shoulder. Sigh. It's really getting to me. I keep telling myself, it's only this year, and hopefully he'll request a new librarian for next year. I doubt he'll want me again.

My ex and I are on speaking terms at this point. We run hot and cold at times. I guess that's to be expected. It was a mess for a while. I was a mess for a while. I'm much better now. I can talk about this and not cry. The woman he was sleeping with is actually now sleeping with his best friend, so all I can think of is KARMA!!!! It really does come around and bite you in the butt. Not that I wish him ill, but I wanted him to get a taste of his own bad medicine.

And for anyone out there on these expensive meds, or even not so expensive meds, look them up online. You wouldn't believe how many of the pharmaceutical companies out there have coupons for getting money off your copays, or for getting them for a really small copay. I have a bunch all lined up for when my copay goes up in January. I get my Maxalt for free, My Frova for free, my Lunesta for Free, and there are a bunch of others that I have down stairs that will be cheaper for me come January. Please look on line to check out your NON GENERIC meds!!! Many companies now have these programs.

Also, Giant and Wegmans have their FREE ANTIBIOTIC PROGRAM... no matter what insurance you have, they have about 15-20 antibiotics that are free. I printed out the list and I give it to my doc whenever I need an antibiotic. Usually they will pick one from the list if they feel it will work. I try to save $$$$$ where ever I can!!

**Forgot to add, that on the BRIGHT SIDE.... I am down 30lbs!!! (minus the 230lbs that I tossed out in October, lol). I'm getting closer to where I want to be, but I still have a ways to go with my weight goal. Slowly but surely, as my doctor says, is the way to go!

[Karen]

Sounds like things are looking up, in many areas. Keep up the good efforts, they are paying off!

[Freedom]

I'm with Karen, overall it sounds like things are getting better and life is settling down for you. Losing the weight is a great achievement, and that too can produce chaos in your feelings and moods. Good for you!

(And here I was thrilled at my annual last week when my doc told me I've lost 11 pounds in the 3 years I've been seeing her. Thanks for putting THAT in perspective, I've got a long ways to go!)

[Taz_Zoee]

Sorry you have a migraine on top of the other illness. Glad you are happy again without the extra 230lbs. And yay for you for losing weight! That's awesome!
I hope things are okay at work too. Stressing about the one school doesn't help with your migraine or bronchitis.