Thinking it's the end for Honeybun: 11:30AM Friday time/day set

[jennielynn1970]

I've been dealing with a lot with Honeybun lately. He's seeming very out of sorts, almost senile in his ways. He's not using the litter boxes at all, he's totally destroyed my on part of my hardwood floor because of it, and it's just so frustrating. I've tried crating, and he cries and still won't use the box at all. He's only eating chicken, and his poops are just black and runny. It's just not looking good for him at this moment.


I think that when I get paid in 2 weeks I am going to put him to sleep. He seems miserable, looks miserable, and I'm miserable. I think it's going to be the fairest thing for him at this point. I've added up the years I've had him, and when I got him and realized he's almost 20 years old! I know they can live longer, but he's just so emaciated looking and his eyes just lack that luster and love.

I've finally wrapped my head around it, and I've stopped crying about it as much, but I guess I just want to know that I'm doing right by my boy. Cancer has his mouth, FIV has his body... and I don't want him to suffer any longer.

[Malibu's Mom]

You know your cat better than anybody else, and you know when it's time. It does sound like you are making the right decision for Honeybun. Amber was in a similar situation when I decided to have her PTS - she kept losing weight no matter how much I fed her, she was senile, she had kidney disease and mouth cancer. I knew had given up the fight and was ready to move on. I just saw it in her eyes.

I will pray that you are making the right decision and that you can find some semblance of peace in that. I will also pray that the next 2 weeks will be happy ones for you and Honeybun. Lots of love being sent your way.

[Pinot's Mom]

You know it's time. I'm so sorry it has to be this way. Love to you and Honeybun.

[tokolosh]

I guess I just want to know that I'm doing right by my boy. Cancer has his mouth, FIV has his body... and I don't want him to suffer any longer.

I think if you feel that it is, then it is. All I have to go by is my own single experience, and how I felt.

The first appointment I made to have Limpet euthanised, I really intended to do it because I had been talking to the vet and it really seemed like the 'moment' had come (I asked her what I should watch for as the signs of 'the time' and she said with kidney failure it was usually when the cat stopped eating, which she had). I thought it over all night, made the appointment in the morning for the end of the day, and had the whole day to think about it. As I say, it really seemed like the right thing to do. But as the day wore on I just got more and more weighed down by dread - not of how we'd miss her or how we would lose her for good or anything like that. What I felt was fear, and guilt - towards her, like I was doing something to her that was wrong. It's true she wasn't eating, but she still seemed like all she really wanted from life was to be with us, and if I'd put her to sleep it would have been like shutting her away from us. So I couldn't do it. When we got to the vet's we consulted with her and made a last-minute one-eighty decision to try the IV treatment again.

I had none of that fear and dread when we did it for real about 10 days later. I was sad, sad, sad, and my son and I both cried steadily through the whole thing. I knew how much I would care, but I just didn't expect how it would make me cry. It hurt something awful. We both wanted so badly to still have her forever, our little velvet cat. My HANDS hurt with knowing I was losing that feeling of her fur under them. But it didn't feel wrong. In fact, the weird thing was that putting her to sleep hurt us AND helped the hurt. It was almost a feeling of 'I'm so sad I could curl up and cry for a year - but at least there is this one good thing in this.' That we were letting her go.

In spite of what our vet said about 'usually', I developed the sense with Limpet that the time would be there when she quit purring. Nothing could get her to eat for almost the entire last week we had her, but she did keep purring and she did want to be with us and have her laps. When she stopped purring and she got like you describe Honeybun - confused, haunted-looking, miserable even when we were there . . . that's when it was right. And I'm so thankful that we did get the opportunity to pick when was right, and do it then. No sooner, and no later either.

I wish I could say something useful to help how it feels. But I think you can trust yourself.

[mathteach]

I am so sorry to hear about Honeybun. In our conversations at school, I could tell that you always loved Honeybun and that you always did everything in your power to help him. Princess will be waiting at the bridge for him. I will pray for you and as always, I think of you often.

[pomtzu]

So sorry to hear this, Jenn. It's never easy, and I have been down this road too. Is it time??? - am I holding on too long??? - am I giving up too soon??? Only you know what's best for Honeybun, since it is you that is with him day after day. It does sound like it's time tho, from what you say. And 20 years - I'd say that's darn good and is a tribute to the care and love that you have given him. My prayers are with you and Honeybun.

[Medusa]

Jen, I'm sorry that it's come to this w/Honeybun but if you really think it's time, then two weeks is a long time to wait if he's that miserable. I can't imagine that your vet will expect you to pay right then and there. My vet waits a while, then sends a bill and maybe yours will, too. I don't want to cheat you of any time w/Honeybun but it does sound as though it's his time and you'd be doing your last act of kindness for him if you helped him to the Bridge sooner rather than later.

[GILL]

Jenn I'm so sorry too hear this. It's never easy to let go, but some times it's the best that we can do. You will always have the memories. I still cry when I think of Patches, she been gone almost 9 years now.

[Karen]

Poor boy, and you have our sympathies as well.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jen, I'm sorry that it's come to this w/Honeybun but if you really think it's time, then two weeks is a long time to wait if he's that miserable. I can't imagine that your vet will expect you to pay right then and there. My vet waits a while, then sends a bill and maybe yours will, too. I don't want to cheat you of any time w/Honeybun but it does sound as though it's his time and you'd be doing your last act of kindness for him if you helped him to the Bridge sooner rather than later.

I agree. My vet also doesn't expect me to pay that day. They know how emotional people get and how hard it is to say goodbye so they just bill you.

I'm sorry to hear that he's not doing well and I know you want to spend some more time with him. When I noticed that my RB Sunny started to go downhill from his cancer, I called to see if my vet would be working the next day and the woman said that she would. I told her what was going on and she asked me if I wanted to make an appt. to bring him in to have him PTS. I said no that I would probably wait 1 week. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was time so I called and I left a voice mail with my vet to let her know that I would be bringing my Sunny in the next day. It is hard to know when it's time but from what you've said, I think that Honeybun is ready. Sending prayers your way during this difficult time. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Lizzie]

Jen - if Honeybun is having black stools, doesn't that mean he's bleeding high up in his digestive system?

I was devastated when I lost Dude, one of my FIV boys who developed oral cancer, and I still think about him with great sorrow because we only had a year together and he was a wonderful cat.

Your post makes his condition sound extremely bad. Perhaps others are right and the time should be sooner rather than later, for Honeybun's sake. When they get that inward looking look in their eyes I know I have to say goodbye very very soon.

[phesina]

I am so very sorry, Jenn.

Love and prayers and good wishes to you and Honeybun.

,
Pat and cats

[katladyd]

Poor Honeybun. He's miserable, you're miserable, it's a sad situation all around. Yes, it seems like it is his time. Know my thoughts are with you and Honeybun. It's hard to let them go when you've had them in your home and in your heart for years and years, but that is what love is all about.

[lvpets2002]

I so aggree.. Sending Lots of Prayers & Huggss..

You know it's time. I'm so sorry it has to be this way. Love to you and Honeybun.

[Taz_Zoee]

Oh Jennie, I am so sorry. I know how much Honeybun means to you, even with the frustration he causes sometimes. This just brings back the turmoil I went through with Taz. I couldn't wait two weeks and schedule an apointment. Luckily I had a recheck appointment and we decided to do it right then. For a long time, and even still to this day, I always wonder if I let him go too soon. But then I think....he was 21 1/2 lbs at his heaviest. When I let him go he was only 6.7lbs. It was the right thing to do.

Hugs to you Jennie. You know you are doing the right thing. Because it is so difficult makes it easy to second guess yourself.