Thinking it's the end for Honeybun: 11:30AM Friday time/day set

[tokolosh]

I guess I just want to know that I'm doing right by my boy. Cancer has his mouth, FIV has his body... and I don't want him to suffer any longer.

I think if you feel that it is, then it is. All I have to go by is my own single experience, and how I felt.

The first appointment I made to have Limpet euthanised, I really intended to do it because I had been talking to the vet and it really seemed like the 'moment' had come (I asked her what I should watch for as the signs of 'the time' and she said with kidney failure it was usually when the cat stopped eating, which she had). I thought it over all night, made the appointment in the morning for the end of the day, and had the whole day to think about it. As I say, it really seemed like the right thing to do. But as the day wore on I just got more and more weighed down by dread - not of how we'd miss her or how we would lose her for good or anything like that. What I felt was fear, and guilt - towards her, like I was doing something to her that was wrong. It's true she wasn't eating, but she still seemed like all she really wanted from life was to be with us, and if I'd put her to sleep it would have been like shutting her away from us. So I couldn't do it. When we got to the vet's we consulted with her and made a last-minute one-eighty decision to try the IV treatment again.

I had none of that fear and dread when we did it for real about 10 days later. I was sad, sad, sad, and my son and I both cried steadily through the whole thing. I knew how much I would care, but I just didn't expect how it would make me cry. It hurt something awful. We both wanted so badly to still have her forever, our little velvet cat. My HANDS hurt with knowing I was losing that feeling of her fur under them. But it didn't feel wrong. In fact, the weird thing was that putting her to sleep hurt us AND helped the hurt. It was almost a feeling of 'I'm so sad I could curl up and cry for a year - but at least there is this one good thing in this.' That we were letting her go.

In spite of what our vet said about 'usually', I developed the sense with Limpet that the time would be there when she quit purring. Nothing could get her to eat for almost the entire last week we had her, but she did keep purring and she did want to be with us and have her laps. When she stopped purring and she got like you describe Honeybun - confused, haunted-looking, miserable even when we were there . . . that's when it was right. And I'm so thankful that we did get the opportunity to pick when was right, and do it then. No sooner, and no later either.

I wish I could say something useful to help how it feels. But I think you can trust yourself.

[mathteach]

I am so sorry to hear about Honeybun. In our conversations at school, I could tell that you always loved Honeybun and that you always did everything in your power to help him. Princess will be waiting at the bridge for him. I will pray for you and as always, I think of you often.

[pomtzu]

So sorry to hear this, Jenn. It's never easy, and I have been down this road too. Is it time??? - am I holding on too long??? - am I giving up too soon??? Only you know what's best for Honeybun, since it is you that is with him day after day. It does sound like it's time tho, from what you say. And 20 years - I'd say that's darn good and is a tribute to the care and love that you have given him. My prayers are with you and Honeybun.

[Medusa]

Jen, I'm sorry that it's come to this w/Honeybun but if you really think it's time, then two weeks is a long time to wait if he's that miserable. I can't imagine that your vet will expect you to pay right then and there. My vet waits a while, then sends a bill and maybe yours will, too. I don't want to cheat you of any time w/Honeybun but it does sound as though it's his time and you'd be doing your last act of kindness for him if you helped him to the Bridge sooner rather than later.

[GILL]

Jenn I'm so sorry too hear this. It's never easy to let go, but some times it's the best that we can do. You will always have the memories. I still cry when I think of Patches, she been gone almost 9 years now.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jen, I'm sorry that it's come to this w/Honeybun but if you really think it's time, then two weeks is a long time to wait if he's that miserable. I can't imagine that your vet will expect you to pay right then and there. My vet waits a while, then sends a bill and maybe yours will, too. I don't want to cheat you of any time w/Honeybun but it does sound as though it's his time and you'd be doing your last act of kindness for him if you helped him to the Bridge sooner rather than later.

I agree. My vet also doesn't expect me to pay that day. They know how emotional people get and how hard it is to say goodbye so they just bill you.

I'm sorry to hear that he's not doing well and I know you want to spend some more time with him. When I noticed that my RB Sunny started to go downhill from his cancer, I called to see if my vet would be working the next day and the woman said that she would. I told her what was going on and she asked me if I wanted to make an appt. to bring him in to have him PTS. I said no that I would probably wait 1 week. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was time so I called and I left a voice mail with my vet to let her know that I would be bringing my Sunny in the next day. It is hard to know when it's time but from what you've said, I think that Honeybun is ready. Sending prayers your way during this difficult time. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[DriftyAlison0]

Jen, I'm sorry that it's come to this w/Honeybun but if you really think it's time, then two weeks is a long time to wait if he's that miserable. I can't imagine that your vet will expect you to pay right then and there. My vet waits a while, then sends a bill and maybe yours will, too. I don't want to cheat you of any time w/Honeybun but it does sound as though it's his time and you'd be doing your last act of kindness for him if you helped him to the Bridge sooner rather than later.

I agree. Call your vet tomorrow morning and see what you can do. If its his time, 2 weeks is a long time to wait. I am glad to hear that your moving it up sooner. Black stools does mean that he is bleeding somewhere up there. See if you can bill it later if you can't afford it by then. If not ask your parents or other family.

We had the papers signed to put Tigger down but then we decided to wait a day, and he ended up passing on his own. Sometimes I wish that we would of done it while we were there so that we could of been there for his passing.

[jennielynn1970]

Friday, 11:30AM is our appointment time.

It's time. Although he's still fiesty, he's just not himself. He's at my side constantly, needing comfort, and just dry heaves. So, Dave is going to figure out a way to get me the $25 on Friday while he's working, and I can then take him to the vet and have him PTS. I have a neuro appt. at 7:30 am, not sure how long I'll be there, but hoping it's not too long. I'm hoping to find out what is causing my migraines or get something to help eliminate them, or find relief from them. So, my friday is a full day. Will be going up to my parents right after the vet and burying Honey by my Finae so he won't be alone. All of our family pets are buried up there.. we have a 100 acre farm so we have a plot just for the pets with rose bushes and pretty flowers for them.

I'm going alone to do this, so it will be hard, but Dave can't take off, and I wouldn't ask him to. Honey is my boy, and I will be there for him. I'm just sad I didn't know what the black stools meant, and that it's being going on longer than it should have. He's skin and bones at this point, had been 9lbs in the spring, but this summer he just went way down hill. My poor boy.

Think of us on Friday morning. Thank you all for your support and condolences.

[phesina]

God bless you, Jenn and Honeybun both.

Peace and comfort to you. Please give Honeybun some gentle kissies of love from us.

,
Pat and cats

[tokolosh]

Friday, 11:30AM is our appointment time.

It's time. Although he's still fiesty, he's just not himself. He's at my side constantly, needing comfort, and just dry heaves. . . I'm just sad I didn't know what the black stools meant, and that it's being going on longer than it should have. He's skin and bones at this point, had been 9lbs in the spring, but this summer he just went way down hill. My poor boy.
.

He's still getting comfort from you. I don't want to take from your sadness or try and brush it away, but that is something not-bad about this extra time you both ended up with. You sound sure about it now and I do hope you're not worried anymore about whether it's the right thing. I'll be thinking of you.