Who should I get?

[Moesha]

I'm going to agree here with tokolosh. Keeping a cat inside that is determined to go outside is next to impossible. I think we all agree that outside isn't the safest place for animals, but as was mentioned earlier, outside under supervision or for brief periods with a way back inside is a much better alternative than what some kitties experience. I know the risks are higher for shorter lifespan and other dangers, but sometimes that is the reality. Morgan was a strictly inside cat and when I got Aroara, that was the plan with her. She definitely had other ideas. My house was in the country with woods and fields and those things tempted her way too much to keep her inside all the time. Plus she is terribly destructive in trying to get outside. I could take photos of the carpet and doors for you. She has her routine. That is the main reason that when I moved into a new house, I had to leave her at my parents. She would be miserable if she couldn't go outside, and she would make me miserable. And I couldn't let her go outside at all here safely. So I get visitation and pay child support and she lives at my parents' house.

Also, I completely agree with the over analyzing of what to do about a new cat. Along with my new house, I inherited a cat. My grandmother had to move to assisted living, so I'm in her house and with her cat. He is neurotic to say the least. But then living with her for his first 4 years didn't help. We've made great progress in the last 7 months or so, but I miss normal kitties so much! I have had dozens of kitties and know they all have their own personalities. Morgan was the absolute best kitty I could ever imagine. And I know that I'll never get another one like him. And it isn't fair to kitties to expect them to be like him either. But being with Tommy isn't what I'm used to either. I do go home to visit and play with my kitties there, but I've seriously been thinking of getting another one for here. I've been running through all the possibilities in my head similar to what you've mentioned and haven't come up with a solution yet either. I guess I'll just keep my eyes and ears opened and when I see someone that is desperate for a home, I'll adopt. A few towns away from me there was a call from the humane society that they had over 300 cats and kittens. I desperately wanted to go and pick one out, but then I got anxiety picturing myself trying to decide on just one. I'd feel guilty about not taking them all. So I didn't go. And now I feel guilty about that. I know that I'll help some needy kitty eventually. Anyway, the point of this was to say that I completely understand all sides of all the issues here. And I don't think it is fair for any one of us to judge another one of us. We're all here for the love of animals, particularly cats being discussed here. I hope everyone remembers that. And I also hope that when you make your decision, you'll be willing to share that and lots of pictures with us!

[krazyaboutkatz]

From what you have said that you don't want then I know you shouldn't even consider a Siamese type of cat. My cat Pearl is only a Siamese mix and she's very needy and clingy towards me. My cat Sky used to try to door dash and he would cry to be let out when I first adopted him. I live in a condo complex and we can't have outdoor cats at all. Over time Sky learned to love the indoors and now he doesn't door dash any more. I do open up my sliding glass door so they can all smell the outdoors. It has another door with a pet screen on it so bugs stay out and the cats can't get out either. My windows also have pet screens on them so I don't have to worry about a cat falling out of my window. I live on the second floor.

I've found that as far as personalities, laid back, easy going, goofy cats have been the best for me. For some reason orange male cats seem to have these personalities. Also some cats like my Ziggy Stardust, take several years before they actually show their true personalities. She was a loner and now she finally comes to me for pets and scritches and she sometimes wants to sleep with me at night. Not all cats are lap cats. Storm will only sit between my legs and will only be on my lap if he feels threatened or scared by someone or something. He doesn't like to be held either. Sky has never been a lap cat but he's the friendliest cat that I have and he loves people. He's my kitty/dog. I can hold him for maybe a few minutes or so. Pearl loves to be in my lap but she doesn't like to be held. Ziggy will sometimes sit between my legs but has never been a lap cat and she also hates to be held. Alani loves to be held and he must have his daily hugs. He also loves to be on my lap. He's quite the love bug. Blaze will tolerate being held but he also loves to be on my lap.

I know you can never replace your former cat but you may be able to find a cat with similar qualities. I hope that you'll be able to find that special cat and that your landlord will allow you to have another cat. I would recommend looking at petfinder. This is where I found Alani & Blaze. Good luck.

[mrspunkysmom]

I tried to take Spunky on a leash walk and it was torture for him and hell for me. It's just best to not let him outside. Sam is an escape artist with harnesses. Limber as all get-out.

Cats use a different part of their brain when outside. It something spooks them, you cannot predict their actions and they will not listen to you. So mine stay indoors.

My mother had a cat that preferred outside and was adamant about it. Snow disappeared. My Pepper did too, but I lived on a huge acreage then.

Whether a cat prefers inside or outside might be due in part to how much of their early years was spent outside. On the other hand, my Maggie was part of litter from an acquired feral that also produced Hortense, an astoundingly beautiful Calico. Hortense, even at 6 weeks, hated indoors and took off, yet Maggie when brought in decided that she was in heaven and I took her home with me.

Go figure.

And I was thinking about getting another cat for a while, but I knew that if I did, I would have to turn away a rescue that showed up. Sure enough in June, I rescued two that were being tossed because their owner need to move on with her life.

[tokolosh]

From what you have said that you don't want then I know you shouldn't even consider a Siamese type of cat.

I've heard the kind of stories from Siamese owners that make me think they're glorious cats - but for me, better enjoyed as a spectator There was a British woman called Doreen Tovey when I was a kid who wrote several books about her life with a sibling pair and their mother, plus other animals over the years. If you ever luck out and find one in a second-hand store, GRAB IT. Even though I don't think I would be right for a Siamese, she made me love the idea of them anyway.

My cat Pearl is only a Siamese mix and she's very needy and clingy towards me.

Yes, exactly. I have to earn the money and deal with the mail and cook the food and all that, so I just don't have enough cling time available to be best for a cat like that. My dad had a cat at his house when I was in college who was like that, and it was sad. It just never seemed like any amount of attention would be enough to settle her down, and I found I just couldn't help it - I started almost disliking her, guilt and all, because she made me feel so cornered and so despairing. She came to seem to me like a bottomless hole. It just wouldn't be fair for me to take someone and end up feeling like I was being pressured by them all the time when they're just trying to get what they need.

On the other hand, with Limpet we did understand we were critically important to her. She had her own stuff she liked to do as well, but we knew she really did need us to be there and consistent and reassuring for her all the time. She was very like what they say about Russians - friendly curious cats, but they do bond to one set of people and once it's set the bond is the principal thing in their lives. She was fine when she knew we were there and she was with us, which was almost all of the time. But if something happened to unsettle her then we knew she'd need extra reassurance. I'm okay with that, maybe even better than okay because I have such empathy for it. I did notice that once she passed 10 or 11 she seemed to lose some of that confidence and become more timid and more easily rattled.

I've found that as far as personalities, laid back, easy going, goofy cats have been the best for me. For some reason orange male cats seem to have these personalities.

I went and answered this on the other thread where you sent a reply, so I won't repeat myself here. Thanks for all your input

[Catty1]

Doreen Tovey! I LOVED those books! Cats in the Belfry etc! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doreen_Tovey

[tokolosh]

Doreen Tovey! I LOVED those books! Cats in the Belfry etc! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doreen_Tovey

BEAM BEAM BEAM BEAM BEAM. Wasn't she wonderful? I have Cats In May - one of the last ones, where Solomon died. I can't imagine how that must have hurt her. I paid a freaking fortune for that book and I only wish I could find more of them to spend more fortunes on. She made me love those cats - and almost feel them - so much. She had such an ability to get inside their heads and tell things in their 'voices' without being cutesy or coy about it, so you laughed until you couldn't crawl, but also felt such empathy for them, like you completely understood things from their point of view. I loved how she'd call him Old Bat Ears sometimes.

And oh boy, those were cats with personality. Maybe that's what my problem is. I got wrecked by Doreen Tovey and her spectacular cats, and I just don't feel like I've got the wiring to be completely happy with a 'normal' cat anymore. Or maybe it was all just her, being so perceptive and empathetic with them. Could be she could raise any cat to that kind of status just by noticing things and describing them. But she sure had an influence on me.

I read somewhere that the Russian gene pool had to be 'retrieved' by back-breeding from Siamese at some point, and maybe I'm kidding myself. But I always felt like Limpet had some Siamesey-type traits. Her voice, when she used it, was a real shocker coming from such a neat sweet little cat. She had that cracked wail that could drill through concrete. When she told you off, you KNEW you were being told off.

[mathteach]

We recently lost our dear Princess and needed a new kitty to fill the void. We got so lucky with our Bentley. He was a rescue. We knew that we could only afford one more kitty. We already had Butler, age 2. We didn't want to separate 2 or more kitties sleeping together at the shelter. So we looked for a loner. Bentley was sleeping alone in the litter box so we picked him up and knew right there and then, we needed him and he needed us. Butler, my husband, and I love him. It was just luck! good luck to you.

[tokolosh]

We've made great progress in the last 7 months or so, but I miss normal kitties so much!

There you go. If you ever had one cat you really truly loved, it's just not the same to have cats you're merely fond of, no matter how fond of them you might be. I am fond of cats. They do make me happy. I really like consciously choosing how I interact with them so they're happy too. And I want to allocate the available space in my family for a new cat somewhere where it will make a difference. But at heart I'm not a full-on full-time rescuer or foster-person.

I've been running through all the possibilities in my head similar to what you've mentioned and haven't come up with a solution yet either. I guess I'll just keep my eyes and ears opened and when I see someone that is desperate for a home, I'll adopt.

I have hope so I'm trying to have patience too. There's a guy on a mail-list I belong to who had a cat with a huge personality and clearly it was his primary 'person' in life. When it died over a year ago he pretty much shut himself down, cat-wise. And this is an extremely intelligent, strong-willed person But then his cousin came to live with him while he waits to emigrate, and the cousin has a cat of his own . . . it's been really funny and really sweet watching this guy resist the cat, when it's so obvious his goose was cooked the moment that cat came through the door. Johan can call it 'the current cat' and 'the resident cat' all he likes - the cat knows what it knows. I wouldn't bet an old hairball on the chances that cat is going to Holland with its 'owner' when the time comes.

I desperately wanted to go and pick one out, but then I got anxiety picturing myself trying to decide on just one. I'd feel guilty about not taking them all. So I didn't go. And now I feel guilty about that.

I go down to the local shelter and hang out with them. Give the ones who want it attention and stroking and some social time, waiting for that lightning to strike me again. I get overwhelmed too. I don't want to reject anycat. I just don't like having to say 'this one's lovely, but . . . '.

And I also hope that when you make your decision, you'll be willing to share that and lots of pictures with us!

Oh, you'll never hear the end of it. Whoever we get will be completely gorgeous.