Mediation/Arbitration????

[Catty1]

Wom, if hubby performs a disappearing act - and has a history of alcoholism and physical assault - 'settling amicably' hardly fits. I know this is the case in one of these situations; it's the financials that the husband won't settle.

Spouses like this want to take all the toys and go home.

[wombat2u2004]

Wom, if hubby performs a disappearing act - and has a history of alcoholism and physical assault - 'settling amicably' hardly fits. I know this is the case in one of these situations; it's the financials that the husband won't settle.

Spouses like this want to take all the toys and go home.

Well, if that's the case, then it will cost him far more than what he probably thinks. If he wants to give a lawyer a hefty chunk of his share, then it's his loss.
Unfortunately, nobody wins in a situation such as this. If he thinks for one moment that game playing is fun, then he's wrong.... he'll change his mind quick smart when he gets his lawyers account.
This is why mediation is beneficial, just the two of them and a mediator, no legal representation needed....swat it out, take some gains, take some pains.
They will both be better off.

[Queen of Poop]

Allow me to drop in and set the proper stage and update on what's now going on. The readers digest version:

In the beginning my abusive husband claimed MINE!! It's all mine and she gets nothing but her personal stuff. After holding MY personal stuff for ransom for 10 months he finally relented and I got some of my things and we agreed to sell our lake property, he would keep his toys and the acreage home and I would be paid out. Since then he's run the lines of credit to the max and tried to go beyond. He's not attended 3 booked sessions to work towards a proper settlement, he's still claimed MINE! So we suggested mediation/arbitration to try to get this thing done once and for all. After weeks with no response it came last week, after almost 2 years, he shoved it all across the table and said YOURS! Now I've said no way dude. You had to have it, now I'm not cleaning up your crap, don't want it, put it up for sale and we'll meet with the mediator to figure how to split the proceeds equitably given how he alone has rung up over $100,000 in extra debt.

Talk about games, and it's not fun and hugely expensive. In the end was it worth it? Did he win big, will he? Doubtful.

[pomtzu]

QOP - did you ever consider a hit man??? Just kidding of course - but it would probably be less expensive than all that you're going thru.

[mrspunkysmom]

It seems to me that once you are legally separated, you stop to being responsible for his credit. Your responsibility for your joint credit stops the day you were legally separated.

But I guess that varies from state to state and to country.

My personal take on divorce is that even contested, it seems that after so much time, you should be able to get out. But that's just my take.

. . . .Since then he's run the lines of credit to the max and tried to go beyond. He's not attended 3 booked sessions to work towards a proper settlement, he's still claimed MINE! So we suggested mediation/arbitration to try to get this thing done once and for all. After weeks with no response it came last week, after almost 2 years, he shoved it all across the table and said YOURS! Now I've said no way dude. You had to have it, now I'm not cleaning up your crap, don't want it, put it up for sale and we'll meet with the mediator to figure how to split the proceeds equitably given how he alone has rung up over $100,000 in extra debt.

Talk about games, and it's not fun and hugely expensive. In the end was it worth it? Did he win big, will he? Doubtful.

hh

[Alysser]

Hell, I don't know anything about divorce but this crap really needs to be over with. Me and Mikey are still on your side of course. We will be here to party with you when it's over.

In fact, the speakers are already up, we just need a dance floor.

[Queen of Poop]

It seems to me that once you are legally separated, you stop to being responsible for his credit. Your responsibility for your joint credit stops the day you were legally separated.

But I guess that varies from state to state and to country.

My personal take on divorce is that even contested, it seems that after so much time, you should be able to get out. But that's just my take.



hh

And that is one of the issues. He thinks I should be on the hook for it all and I say not a chance, I saw no benefit from any of it. So until an arbitrator or judge decides it's a stalemate. When our one year separation came and went I requested twice that we sever the divorce from the settlement so that I'm not the Mrs anymore. His reply, no, there is no good reason for it. So in 9 days will be our 10 year anniversary. I so wish it could be over, pray for it every night in fact.

So note to anyone out there who is in a questionable relationship - GET OUT, run for the hills and don't look back.

[Queen of Poop]

QOP - did you ever consider a hit man??? Just kidding of course - but it would probably be less expensive than all that you're going thru.

Snicker, snicker. You're not the first to make that particular comment!!

[Queen of Poop]

Hell, I don't know anything about divorce but this crap really needs to be over with. Me and Mikey are still on your side of course. We will be here to party with you when it's over.

In fact, the speakers are already up, we just need a dance floor.

Awwww Mikey, I love you!!!

[wombat2u2004]

Allow me to drop in and set the proper stage and update on what's now going on. The readers digest version:

In the beginning my abusive husband claimed MINE!! It's all mine and she gets nothing but her personal stuff. After holding MY personal stuff for ransom for 10 months he finally relented and I got some of my things and we agreed to sell our lake property, he would keep his toys and the acreage home and I would be paid out. Since then he's run the lines of credit to the max and tried to go beyond. He's not attended 3 booked sessions to work towards a proper settlement, he's still claimed MINE! So we suggested mediation/arbitration to try to get this thing done once and for all. After weeks with no response it came last week, after almost 2 years, he shoved it all across the table and said YOURS! Now I've said no way dude. You had to have it, now I'm not cleaning up your crap, don't want it, put it up for sale and we'll meet with the mediator to figure how to split the proceeds equitably given how he alone has rung up over $100,000 in extra debt.

Talk about games, and it's not fun and hugely expensive. In the end was it worth it? Did he win big, will he? Doubtful.

Geez mate, you picked a real ripe one there.
Go with the flow and come out of it the best way you can
I'm sure he'll eventually regret his actions.