Mediation/Arbitration????

[kuhio98]

Sorry, I don't have any experience with mediation or arbitration.

It sounds to me like he's dragging it out to torture you -- and because he thinks you'll want to get it over with and resolved so badly that you'll agree to his unfair demands.

[pomtzu]

I can't imagine going thru all the crap that you're going thru. When I got my divorce (uncontested), I paid $100 to file the papers with family court, and I had my divorce decree in the mail in less than 2 months. My ex even reimbursed me half of the filing fee. You can tell he was heartbroken over the whole thing - right???

[mon]

I don't like the sound of this either. Not one bit. Trust your instincts and follow through with the most rational plan ya got. Then get a restraining order or move as far away as possible so you never have to deal with his sorry ass again.

[Catty1]

Gayle, I have no experience either. I wish there was something to charge him with, or a court-mandated psych evaluation.

If anything - arbitration. When the arbitrator sees the facts - financial and otherwise - in front of them, it will be a no-brainer.

[Queen of Poop]

Thanks for the comments and support all. Yes Wom, it's taking a huge emotional toll. I found an outlet in running and I'm now up to 10 kms at a stretch, any less and it's not enough to make me feel better. But even that isn't enough to stave off the depression and frustration. I'm not giving up, I know that's what he wants and its NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I gave up enough during the marriage, I'm done with that. So we will try this and see, maybe he'll settle rather than take his chances on mediation/arbitration. If not and he won't play ball it's off to court we go. We'll see how sympathetic a Judge is to his plight then! I'm already in for over $15,000.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I went to one meeting on my own to find out about mediation and decided that it would be a total waste of money.

Mine seems to be taking just as long so take comfort in the fact that you are not alone

[Queen of Poop]

I went to one meeting on my own to find out about mediation and decided that it would be a total waste of money.

Mine seems to be taking just as long so take comfort in the fact that you are not alone

I'm sorry you're "on hold" too. I'm so depressed over it. I had so hoped to have my own home last summer, but that didn't happen, so set my sights on this summer and now it looks like that won't happen either. I'm really struggling with this calamity right now.

As an update, there was no response from the "dark side" to the mediation offer so it looks like we will be forced to do a court filing to try to end this once and for all.

As he said when we asked to sever the divorce from the settlement "there's no good reason to", should I be expecting a fabulous 10th anniversary present later this month, seeing as we are still married? I'm thinking not, but who knows.

[wombat2u2004]

I went to one meeting on my own to find out about mediation and decided that it would be a total waste of money.

Mediation works if you both want it to happen and are both eager to settle and be finished with the whole business. Failing that of course, there's always
court.
But one must consider the costs involved. Court costs and legal representation can cost lots and lots, so sometimes it's more beneficial for both parties to come to some sort of amicable agreement, and mediation is a way of doing that. A bit of give and take can save a lot of time and money.