Unconditional love - A POLL

**K9karen** · 06-17-2011, 09:33 PM

I don't have kids, but raised my niece for many years. In her teenage years, there were times I wanted to kill her (literally of course!!!) but my loving parents always stood by me and my brother and we stood by her and tried to steer her right after some bad influences.

Today, she is happily married to a super husband and 2 kids. She's a great mom. Many times she thanks me (and my mom) for all she's learned. I love her so much I think I'd die for her. She's my heart.

**Karen** · 06-17-2011, 10:19 PM

Not every person is equipped to be a parent, so I voted "no" as I know many people whose parents didn't seem to love them, sadly. Being born genetically female doesn't mean you're equipped to be a mom, and too many people just expect that love will "happen' once the woman gives birth. Same for men, not every male is equipped to be a father, either. Some of it is learned, some of it is innate, but wherever love comes from, it is never a guarantee.

Love is a tricky thing sometimes, and I have counseled more than one person I know to think of a mother more like a "crazy aunt," for example, if it helps them deal with the human being who happened to give birth to them.

I do not have any children, but love lots of people, and love my nieces and nephews unconditionally. Everyone deserves someone who does, don'cha think?

**sana** · 06-18-2011, 12:02 AM

Not all parents love their children unconditionally, some don't even care if they're there, but some reallllyy care! So, I voted no, as not everybody loves their children, some do and some don't...

**moosmom** · 06-18-2011, 07:47 AM

A lot of great comments in this thread. Sparks19, you said exactly what I was trying to say.

**pomtzu** · 06-18-2011, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by moosmom

A lot of great comments in this thread. Sparks19, you said exactly what I was trying to say.

Yes - I agree. Many great comments and views, but Tanya hit the nail on the head.

Thanks for all your responses.

At least I feel that I'm not a horrible mother afterall. A son can't throw his entire family under the bus, and expect love in return. He did a lot of damage, but didn't destroy us, and altho some of the damage can never be repaired, we persevere and have put the ugliness behind us and moved on. As I have posted in my siggy - "to everything there is a season.........."

**Marigold2** · 06-18-2011, 11:20 AM

Yes I agree with sparks19 as well. I know a very good family. They have three children and their one son is very disturbed. They have done all they can for him, sent him to a special school, therapy, but he is either bi-poler or has Schizophrenia or both. He has been violent toward his parents, chasing after his dad with a shovel and once hurting his mom vary bad.
Not that he is an adult they are truly afraid of him.
He tries to break into their house the police are there often.
Mom and dad are highly educated people so they were able to afford the best care possible for him and he did recieve it.
Their two other children live in fear of him as well. Both are doing well and are outstanding young people, oldest daughter is studing medicine.
So these poor people are kind of stuck. Unless they pick up and move across the country and start over and then still he can find them easy enough with the internet.
He has made their life hell.
I have known them for over 15 years. I remember this little boy of 6 who has turned into a monster.
To be afraid of your own child, to live in terror of him, that he will come and kill you in a fit of anger. It is hard to imagine more pain being brought on by a child.

**Alysser** · 06-18-2011, 11:54 AM

I, too, agree with Spark19 on this one. I believe, my parents love us(my siblings and I) unconditionally. My mom has always said she sometimes doesn't like our behavior, attitudes, or what we decide to do - but she will always love us to the best of her ability. My dad agreed with that. We've all done our share of stupid things, especially my brother. I'm not going to go into details or into his life story, but he has really shaped up now, and through all that my parents supported him. My parents would never kick us out of the house or anything like that. Despite all the fights we've had with them, they still love us and I truly believe that. I had a very happy childhood and my family is really close.

I also believe if a kid is to the point where they are destroying his/her family or something equivalent, it's time to make a decision on whether to be tormented or cut off ties. It doesn't have to mean you stop loving them though.