And now, a St. Patrick's Day joke...
Q: Why did the guy from Chicago start speaking with an Irish accent on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Because he wanted to go for brogue.
(groan)
Registered User
And now, a St. Patrick's Day joke...
Q: Why did the guy from Chicago start speaking with an Irish accent on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Because he wanted to go for brogue.
(groan)
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678
Registered User
A henpecked husband who's had a few is driving home one night when he's pulled over by a police officer.
"Excuse me, sir; may I ask where you've been tonight?"
"Why, out for an evening, officer," stammers the man.
"That's what I thought," says the officer. "It looks like you've had a little too much to drink this evening."
"That's possible," answers the driver.
"Did you realize," asks the police officer, folding his arms across his chest, "that your wife fell out of the car two traffic lights back?"
"Oh, thank heavens," the man sighs in relief. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678
Registered User
So a Pi Day joke...
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
Pi a la mode
(Iice cream!)
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678
Hi there. Ey.
Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."
"I'm Back !!"
Far-from-Fenway
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!!
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear...do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
(I just love this part....)
"Your badge, show him your BADGE........!!"
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