Memo From the IG's: Please Help Us! Our Mom is MEAN! *pics*

[Ginger's Mom]

Oh the horror and indignity of it all. Would it help if I told you you look adorable, and I couldn't resist sending you a carton of hot dogs?

[Twisterdog]

Just a few questions so I can start working your case. Are you being fed at all? Do I understand correctly that you are forced to go outside when the weather is at its worst? ... Do you have cell phones?

Oh, the horrors of our diet! You have NO idea. We NEVER get steak, or hamburgers or hot dogs. Sometimes our dad sneaks us a piece of cheese, but we are so weak with hunger by then that we can barely drag our bodies across the floor to take it! We have to eat hard, dry kibble ... all day, every day. It's horrible. Once in a while, in bright light, if we suck our bellies in REALLY hard, you might actually catch a glimpse of a rib!

And OH! The weather ... let me tell you what! It SNOWS here. Snow! Can you believe it! And she expects us to actually STEP in that stuff! No way, no how. We pee on the floor, you better believe it! Not happening! She thinks putting coats on us is going to change that? Ha!!

Please call us at 1-800-ABOOSED as soon as possible. If we are not too weak or cold to crawl to the phone, that is!

Sincerely,

Iggy, Gia and Rocky
The Martyred Ones

[momcat]

Okay Rocky, Gia, and Iggy here's the deal. On November 1 the Catmobile will be heading out to Wyoming with a crack team of investigators and purralegals. That way we can all get together and put your case together. Go over to Cat General and check out the post "Groucho the lawyer needs volunteers" for valuable updates.

Help is on the way!

[momcat]

Hi Rocky, Gia, and Iggy,
Just to let you know that you haven't been forgotten, the Catmobile and our ace investigators and purralegals will be leaving for Wyoming sometime tonight. We have been working on your case and are ready to take action.

The Catmobile never goes anywhere without plenty of food and snacks. We're stocked with plenty of fried chicken, Chicago pizza, a few cases of hot dogs, Eli's cheesecake from Chicago (yummy stuff, to die for!), and more than enough cheezburgers for everyone! Along with that is all of the cool spring water you could possibly drink. If there's something else you'd like us to bring just let us know.

We're getting an escort from the security at our local no-kill animal shelter to make sure we have clear sailing with no delays. We'll call you when the Catmobile gets to your neighborhood, be ready to come on in. We'll discuss our legal strategy then.

We're on our way! See all of you very soon.

Your friend,
Groucho the Lawyer

[anna_66]

1-800-FEED-IGS...I'm on the phone right now