UPDATE In Dog Memorial - I am back - with very sad news...

[lizbud]

I am so sorry. This is a heartbreaking moment that I remember too. Feelings
of dread & helplessness at the moment seem to flood your soul.

If you can imagine Scruff talking to you, as only a dear friend would do, he
might say that he does understand your pain at parting from him. It is indeed
the hardest thing to say goodbye to a best buddy. (((Hugs))) Be at peace
with whatever you decide to do, for it will be the only kindly & loving thing
you are able to do for him. (((Hugs))) & prayers for you and for Scruff.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/lastbatt.htm

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear this. You've done everything that you could for him and now he'll be pain free and at peace. Whenever you decide to let him go, I hope he'll go peacefully. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[robinh]

We all know there is no "poor me" whine in this situation. It is the hardest and bravest thing you ever do for your beloved friend and you wouldn't be human if your heart wasn't tearing apart.

My heart breaks for you at this time. Your beloved Scruff loves you and trusts you to take care of him, no matter what. My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this difficult time.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody. Your words are very kind and mean so very much.

Lizbud - Thank you for the link to that poem. I wonder if that is really what Scruff is thinking.

This morning Scruff was doing well, eating, wagging his tail, he got up from the floor pretty well, not perfect, but not struggling either, and his eyes were so bright. I thought, maybe he is not ready. Dave and I talked about it a bit again today. We feel that physically he is ready, but mentally he is not. Like he can't go. Dave said to me today "I just don't want him to be disappointed in us." Now, that is all I have thought about today. What if he is? What if he thinks we gave up on him? Am I rushing it? Or am I being selfish to have him stay?

But then this evening, he barely ate, had trouble once again getting up, and the sparkle in his eyes was just not there.

I am so torn. Dave and I have decided to see how he is this coming week....if he remains the way he is now (or of course gets worse), we will be going in to the vet on Friday....

[Louie and me]

Tracy my heart breaks for you. It is such a hard decision and when Scruff is showing some of his old self it seems somehow wrong to let him go. We waited weeks (in fact too many weeks) until the vet herself helped us make the final decision. My husband still questions whether it was time but it was and as sad as I am, I have no regrets. Scruff may be trying to please you because he knows you are both sad. Keep him as comfortable as you can and showered with love and when the time comes, have no regrets you have done the very best you can for him.

[chocolatepuppy]

Thinking of you...

[boomersooner]

I'm so sorry you are going through this....I went through it with my Cassie a couple of years ago....you will know when and if it is time.....you just will......

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody - you guys are very sweet.

Everybody keeps telling me that I will know when it is time. I thought I did - but then Scruff gets that old look back in his eyes and I get torn....

Dave and I have decided to wait, just a bit. We were going to take him this Friday, but we really don't feel right about it.

Scruff fell again today. I helped him on the bed and he seemed okay. He ate great today and got up to greet the boys after school and Dave after work. I know it is close, but I also know he is not ready - I just don't feel it. It feels wrong. I hope I am not being selfish. It's weird, with rescued animals, it is hard, but I don't feel this torn. It should not be different, but it is. I feel bad admitting that.

We are having our pastor come by on Thursday. He does Reiki. Reiki is a Japanese holistic energy healing system that is gentle and noninvasive and yet yields powerful results for the body, mind and spirit. We know that it will not heal him - we need a miracle for that, but we are hoping it eases his discomfort a bit till he decides it is time to go to the Rainbow Bridge.

I will keep everybody posted. Thank you again for the kind words.