Dig your way out of this mess?

[Asiel]

Very well said - and very true. It's too bad that so many people feel and act otherwise.

You nailed it for sure. Stand up and take a bow for this one, my friend.

Thanks Pom - I just hope that no young impressionable minds were browsing the forum and read the above post and believed that trash. I have to wonder where some people leave their brains sometimes or are they posting in their sleep

[wombat2u2004]

Thanks Pom - I just hope that no young impressionable minds were browsing the forum and read the above post and believed that trash. I have to wonder where some people leave their brains sometimes or are they posting in their sleep

Marigold does have a point tho.
I was reading something a few years ago about "unfaithfulness", and the article said that it was estimated that 70% of married men are unfaithful to their wives at some time.....perhaps just once, or all of the time.
I know that figure sounds kind of high, and it certainly surprised me.
But also for every man in that percentage, there must be a woman involved ???? I have no idea how many of those women would be married, but I would have to say that many of them would be, and even if they were single, I would suppose that most of them would know that their partner is married.
I believe Marigold has hit the nail on the head.....perhaps humans are NOT meant to be with one partner all of their lives, but a lot do of course, but I believe that many don't stay "faithful".
I suppose the real issue is "why should someone be faithful in their marriage ??"
Any feedback on that one ????

[Bonny]

Why should someone be faithful in their marriage? Why not? You take vows when you get married & it is like trying to obey the 10 commandments. Not easy. Some people can do it & some can't. There is also that inner conscious there that can hold you back & make you think about consequences & is it really going to be worth it to be unfaithful & who are you going to hurt if not yourself in the end.

[wombat2u2004]

"Why should someone be faithful in their marriage? Why not?"
Well, why should people be unfaithful in their marriage ??? Why not ???
What about marriage breakdown ?? Sexual incompatability ??? Falling out of love ??

"You take vows when you get married & it is like trying to obey the 10 commandments. Not easy."
No, it's not easy.
But with current figures suggesting that the divorce rate in the USA and Australia runs at about 40-50%, it seems that vows in marriage are not working too well.

"Some people can do it & some can't. There is also that inner conscious there that can hold you back & make you think about consequences & is it really going to be worth it to be unfaithful & who are you going to hurt if not yourself in the end."
But if my above figures are correct, and 70% of married men commit adultery, including probably the same amount of women, then the consequences are in the back of their minds and are only going to be relevant if they are caught.
It's obvious to me, that most people don't care about the consequences, and that being unfaithful is worth the risks.

Nope.....still with Marigold on this one.

[pomtzu]

I suppose the real issue is "why should someone be faithful in their marriage ??"
Any feedback on that one ????

That's what marriage is all about - the basis of it. If one goes into a marriage with the full intention of sleeping around, then why bother getting married in the first place? Are they doing it for tax purposes? - property ownership? - medical benefits? - convenience of having a bed partner when no one else is available? - because they think "it's the thing to do"? Let's just abolish marriage and have everyone sleep here, there, and everywhere, and that way no one will ever have to be chastised for spreading their genes. But of course, they will probably be spreading a lot more than just their genes, too!

[Bonny]

There is a saying if your going to PLAY your going to PAY. Is it worth it ? You have to ask yourself that.

[wombat2u2004]

That's what marriage is all about - the basis of it. If one goes into a marriage with the full intention of sleeping around, then why bother getting married in the first place? Are they doing it for tax purposes? - property ownership? - medical benefits? - convenience of having a bed partner when no one else is available? - because they think "it's the thing to do"? Let's just abolish marriage and have everyone sleep here, there, and everywhere, and that way no one will ever have to be chastised for spreading their genes. But of course, they will probably be spreading a lot more than just their genes, too!

But most of this is a sign of the times. People DO marry for convenience, it happens all the time. So they are not going to take their vows seriously and that is evidenced by so much cheating going on and divorces and the like. And there's certainly plenty of that around....and yes....in this day and age, it is the IN thing to do for many people.

Some questions: You give me your answers, and I'll give you mine.........
1. Why do you think wife swapping is so prevalent in your society and mine ???
2. Do you believe that both husband and wife are breaking their marriage vows by becoming involved in partner swapping ?????
3. Why do people, both men and women have affairs ????
4. If you knew a man who was cheating on his wife because she was cold and unresponsive toward him most of the time, would you think less of that man than if he just chose to put up with her ???
5. Would you expect that man to put up with his cold and unresponsive wife for the rest of his life, and just call it his bad luck because he's married to the wrong person ???
6. Do peoples feelings for their spouses change over the years of marriage ????

[Bonny]

number 5. That is why you can go get a divorce & move on.

number6. Yes, feelings about your spouse do change over the years. It all takes work if you are lazy & don't care then marriage isn't for you get a divorce & move on.

[pomtzu]

It all boils down to one thing: Different people - different values.

[wombat2u2004]

number6. Yes, feelings about your spouse do change over the years. It all takes work if you are lazy & don't care then marriage isn't for you get a divorce & move on.

Ah yes.......now that's a simple answer.
What if those people are expected NOT to divorce ??? By religion, family etc etc. What then ????
And what about the kids ???? A loveless marriage, a cold and unresponsive wife or husband, a bunch of little kids who they both love to death and would never hurt them by parting.......and breaking up the family unit.
What about the economics ???? Divorce could be financially shattering to a family like that.
Wouldn't that be more crippling to a family unit than adultery ????

[Asiel]

I suppose the real issue is "why should someone be faithful in their marriage ??"
Any feedback on that one ????[/QUOTE]


That's like saying why shouldn't I go out and kill someone or steal what I want? And screw the consequences. What a funny way to look at it.
Don't forget that 70% of the world population isn't that much, we aren't talking just the U.S. And if 70% of the people decide to jump off a 20 storey building I suppose that means we should all follow the same trend? Why not, after all everyone else is doing it?
The ten commandments are maybe hard to obey but we would never dream of breaking them would we? Just the one for adultery, I guess that one doesn't count?

If someone enters a marriage with that kind of thinking then they shouldn't be getting married. Why bother with a huge fanfare when you're planning the next one just around the corner?
Adultery is adultery no matter what people want to call it.
Cheating is not something that just happens or isn't in a person's control. We are all responsible for our actions. It's up to you if you want to respect the committment made to your spouse by being faithful or betray their trust for a romp between the sheets that probably means nothing to the other person, a fun time is all most are looking for. If you need to remove a few wrinkles and pockets of fat to advertise yourself, then by all means go for it. But true love and a real marriage means you're loved for yourself flaws and all, that means a lot more to me, having someone there on the stormy days as well as the sunny ones.
And if the person is willing to cheat once it won't be the last. Before jumping between the sheets try thinking what other sheets the person has been between and what you might just be bringing home to your spouse and maybe another child.
I did say a marriage was hard work, if you don't have what it takes to see it through then go about your bed hopping but don't ruin other lives along with yours.

This is about the sickest, self absorbed post I've ever read, and to think this is supposed to be a pet forum.

[wombat2u2004]

"That's like saying why shouldn't I go out and kill someone or steal what I want? And screw the consequences. What a funny way to look at it."

Why ???? There's laws against killing and stealing, there isn't laws against adultery.

"And if 70% of the people decide to jump off a 20 storey building I suppose that means we should all follow the same trend? Why not, after all everyone else is doing it?"

Hmmmmm....that's not much of an example. We all eat lunch for the same reason....don't we ???

"The ten commandments are maybe hard to obey but we would never dream of breaking them would we? Just the one for adultery, I guess that one doesn't count?"

Well that depends on if one believes there ever was a Ten Commandments.

"If someone enters a marriage with that kind of thinking then they shouldn't be getting married. Why bother with a huge fanfare when you're planning the next one just around the corner?"

Would everyone who got married believe at that time that there is going to be another marriage in their lives (just around the corner) ??
I think not.....people change, feelings change, partner expectations are not met, people fall out of love...it happens over time, and all of the time.

"Cheating is not something that just happens or isn't in a person's control."

No it isn't. I'm sure they are doing what they want to do, and for their very own personal reasons.

"Before jumping between the sheets try thinking what other sheets the person has been between and what you might just be bringing home to your spouse and maybe another child."

There is adequate protection that people use, and besides, even if they didn't, it would be no different than most people were exposed to before marriage in the promiscuous society that we all live in, in this day and age.

"I did say a marriage was hard work, if you don't have what it takes to see it through then go about your bed hopping but don't ruin other lives along with yours."

And if both partners don't follow through with that hard work ??? If one does and the other doesn't ??? What then ????

"This is about the sickest, self absorbed post I've ever read, and to think this is supposed to be a pet forum. :rolleyes"

Why is it so self absorbed ??? You've given your views, I've given mine, Marigold, Pom and Bonny have given there's. Nobody has to agree with anyone....this is DogHouse....we discuss....yes ????

[pomtzu]

Wom - #6 I agree with 100% - and that's why I am divorced. However, in the time that this was happening, I wasn't sleeping around, and my ex wasn't spreading his genes around either.

[wombat2u2004]

Wom - #6 I agree with 100% - and that's why I am divorced. However, in the time that this was happening, I wasn't sleeping around, and my ex wasn't spreading his genes around either.

Then you and hubby are a minority. Most people do sleep around during separation and divorce........why is that so wrong ????

[pomtzu]

Then you and hubby are a minority. Most people do sleep around during separation and divorce........why is that so wrong ????

Like I said - different people/different values.
And maybe if those people weren't expending so much energy with ones other than their spouse, they might be putting it into trying to resolve issues of the pending separation/divorce too. That's just a silly thought tho.....