Too Young to Marry?

[pomtzu]

In my opinion, there is no magic number for a marrying age - it depends on the person.

I was married in the early 60's - right out of high school - but that was quite common back then. I was 18 and my now ex, was 23. We were together for about 35 years before we separated, and it was only 3 years ago that we decided to divorce. Would I do it the same way again?? - no. There are things that I would want to do on my own before marriage, and not with a husband, after marriage. Was my life miserable because of this?? Nope - not by a long shot. I had my kids when I was young, and grew up with them, and had fun and was able to keep up with and relate to the younger set. I for one, can't imagine myself starting a family at 40+ like so many women do today. I wouldn't have the patience or the energy.

[Miss Z]

I guess this article is prompted by the trend in women marrying and having children later on in life than previous generations.

I can't see myself getting married until my late twenties at the earliest. I know you can never accurately plan life , but I want to live my life and do my own thing for a while before I make commitments. I think that's a view shared by a lot of women my age.

What I think is more the problem is people rushing into marriage rather than just tying the knot early. You hear so much about people of a variety of ages being together for a matter of weeks before the question is popped, and I always wonder how one can make a decision concerning what should entail, after all, the rest of their life, in such a short space of time.

Some people will make it work and some will encounter problems whatever path they take! The world would be boring if we all made the same decisions.

[lvpets2002]

Well I married my first time at age 18 right out of highschool & for the wrong reasons.. It lasted maybe 2 yrs.. I married the second time at age 25 & again for the wrong reasons & that lasted 17 yrs.. So who is to say who is too young or too old to marry.. I do think once your into your early 20s that should be old enough.. Now I do not aggree with teenage marriages.. However I have seen those last for many of years too..

[Cataholic]

LOL, I am sure some think I have no business replying to this. That's okay, at least they are thinking.

I think people should wait as long an they can, certainly till after thrus education is finished, and a career path found or started. I think living on your own, responsible for yourself exclusively is a good idea.

I see no reason, personally, to get married.

As for Poms crack about us oldies having kids, I see far more benefit to having a child "late" in life than early. Heck, by the time I lose my ability to drive safely, I will have my own chauffeur!

[pomtzu]

As for Poms crack about us oldies having kids, I see far more benefit to having a child "late" in life than early. Heck, by the time I lose my ability to drive safely, I will have my own chauffeur!

LOL. But I'll have my kid or grandkids to choose from in that department.

A lot of interesting posts in this thread too. Even tho I married young, I didn't rush into it a matter of a few months, and I didn't "have" to get married, in spite of what a few of the nosy aunts thought. I was married over 2 years when son #1 came along. That sure put an end to their gossip!!

[Taz_Zoee]

I do not think age matters. I know two couple who married young and they are still happily together after 22 and 19 years together.
The couple that has been together for 22 years got married when they were both 20 years old.
The couple that will celebrate their 19th anniversary in November were married when she was 19 and he was 22.

My grandma married my grandpa when she was just 16. She lied about her age and apparently back in 1941 you did not have to prove your age. They were married until he died in 1996.

My boyfriend got married when he was 30 and it lasted less than 2 years. So age has nothing to do with it, IMO.

I am 37, have never been married and honestly do not ever see myself getting married. Oh well, I'm happy!

ETA: I just looked at the article and it looks like the youngest person was 21 (I didn't look through all of them, too slow to load). Didn't Macaulay Culkin get married when he was like 17 or 18? That was a HUGE deal too when that happened back in 1998.

[lvpets2002]

I will admitt I am done with the Marriage thing.. Two down the road was enough for me.. I am very content with taking care of myself & my babies.. My babies & other things keep me busy enough.. Pluss there is Lots More Crazy People Out There In The World that I do not have to meet & know..

[k9krazee]

I am a bit suprised that there are a lot of people that I graduated high school with that are married already, and I'm (almost) 22.

What bothers me is when people are rushing in to marriage because they like the idea of it (or that's my assumption of why they're rushing). If you are together, and plan on staying together, why do you need to rush into getting married? My 18 year old cousin just got married to a girl he knew for less than 6 months. And this was after the his ex broke up with him after he proposed. How can you want to marry two different people in the course of 6 months? Marriage is a huge decision! I have two 15 year old cousins that are "engaged" and they've each been dating their boyfriends for less than 4 months. Rich's 19 year old cousin got married last year and is due for her first baby soon.

It's crazy. People constantly ask Rich and I when we'll get married, but I feel like 22 is too young. I would at least like us both to finish school (he's done, I have one more year) and get a job in our field. Plus, I have NO idea how these young'ins afford a wedding (if they have one). I'm thinking about all of my student loans and when I start paying them off it's going to be $300 a month...I have no idea how we would be able to EACH pay $300/month on the loans, pay rent (or down payment + mortgage), bills, cars, etc and afford a wedding.

I think that's why the divorce rate is so high. There are stories of people marrying young and staying together forever, but I don't think that that's the norm. I think too many people are rushing in to it for wrong reasons. I had another cousin get married at 18 so they could get on welfare. Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

But hey, it's not my life To each their own.

[k9krazee]

My sister is 17 and has been dating this boy for a year. He wants to get married as soon as she finished high school (so 1 more year), and his MOM is even telling her how happy she'd be if she was her daughter-in-law. I don't think that parent's should encourage their 17-18 year old children to get married. I keep encouraging her to at least finish college first!

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

I guess I don't see anything wrong with this- I think the real problem is that people have to make these kinds of choices because they can't get health care otherwise.

I see no real reason to get married personally except for the fact that there are financial benefits (insurance, taxes, etc). My husband and I decided to get married when we did so I could be on his health insurance. I had no desire to have a wedding be a big production (we got married in the municipal building) and it wasn't really a romantic thing for me, just a practical decision. We were both committed to the relationship already (and already lived together) and getting married made not a whit of difference in that regard. It also wasn't a religious thing since we are both atheist/agnostic...everyone has their own reasons for marriage and I don't really think they matter.

[wombat2u2004]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

Marriages of convenience are quite commonplace nowadays. It's easier to get the house on the hill complete with china ducks on the wall, than it is being single.

[sana]

My mom got married ta the age of 21. I want to get married at the age of 19 or 18

[krazyaboutkatz]

Well I've never been married and most likely will never be and I've learned to just accept it and be happy with my family of cats instead. As for having children, if I did have them it would of had to be in my 20's so I would have enough energy to keep up with them. I can't imagine having children in my 40's. My cats keep me on my toes as it is.

My mom didn't get married until she was 23 and she said that this was considered fairly old back then. My youngest brother got married first and I think he was 27 but it only lasted a few years. He got married a second time at 30 something and he's still married and now has 2 children. My other brother got married at 30 and he's still married with 3 children. For a while there, I think my parents were wondering if any one would ever get married and if they'd ever become grandparents.

I've seen many families where it seems like if the parents married young and had children at a young age, then their children also marry young and have children at a young age. I personally think that 23 and older is a good age to marry because then if you went to college you've already most likely graduated and hopefully started working.