Mini Rant

[Cataholic]

This hasn't happened to me yet, but I can see how frustating it could be. You don't want to be rude, yet you don't want to look like you can't manage a dinner either.

For the kids, I could just say, "nope, not tonight". For your SO...prolly doesn't work.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Big problem for me. If I cook a ton of food I might be able to work with it. I hate surprises like that though. I live alone now but that happened to me many times in the past. I never got used to it.

I would sit down and have another talk about how stressful it is for you. Good luck.

[Karen]

We never knew, growing up, how many people were going to be present for a particular meal for the most part, just made plenty to go around.

The funniest one was my sister's friend Nancy - she was a very sheltered only child of a very quiet couple, so when she was over our house for dinner, she never ate much anyway, she was too busy laughing at our normal dinner table routine!

[Lady's Human]

Cook enough so you have leftovers (besides, if it's worth cooking, it's worth cooking extra), and the extra odd body won't matter. (3 Hours is more notice than we normally ever gave at home, being that it takes me about 1/2 hours to an hour to cook dinner, doesn't seem like that big a deal?)

[Catlady711]

He is lucky I already had enough out to make an extra plate.

That's the problem right there. His buddy is still getting the meal and your hubby is happy. It's never going to sink in if it always works out.

My thoughts are that you have 3 choices:

1) always make a bit extra just in case, and you can use any leftovers for lunch.

2) appologize profusely in front of hubby and guest(s) when there isn't enough food for the unannounced, or short notice buddy, hubby might get the hint then.

3) only fix meals that require less time to make so that 3 hours would be more than enough time to prepare a meal if guests have been added.

[sparks19]

seriously? 3 hours isnt enough time?

I don't know.... I mean most meals take us one hour to make from SCRATCH.

unless they are crock pot meals and we make more than 3 servings in a crock pot meal normally and if it's not crock pot and is an oven meal... it's usually a pretty large chunk of meat if it takes 3 hours.

I suppose if it's a habit and i told him about it and I was in the habit of making meals that took HOURS it could be annoying but really most of our from scratch meals take no more than 2 hours. so I don't really see how three hours is not enough time unless you are about to hunt the animal yourself lol

but if it is a problem there is a simple solution....

TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE. TELL him that you can't accomodate an extra guest more than a day in advanced if you cant afford it. be honest with him. don't just expect him to KNOW. and if you have talked about it and he still does it then tell him NO. it's not rocket science. tell him "I'm sorry but I just don't have enough food prepared for the extra guest" and if he insists on it tell him "I told you I don't have enough food made and I can't make it up in time so tell him he can't come and tell him YOU made a mistake and don't have enough food for him or room for him"

pretty simple... HONESTY


Don't play games. be honest. tell him you don't have enough food NOR do you have enough money to pay for food for others. seriously don't play GAMES about it and act like you can pull it off

this is the basis of all relationships... honesty. don't lie to him... don't play games... don't fudge statistics or money etc etc. just tell him the truth. this is what you can afford and if he wants to invite people last minute then tell him what he is up against.

[NicoleLJ]

Please reread my first post. I clearly stated that I have had this conversation with him before. So I did not expect him to read my mind. And for this meal the meat was marinating most of the afternoon so it was a meal that was prepared ahead of time to make it the way we like it. Yes most meals do take about 2 hours max to make but not all can be made that quickly. Also some are portion made. So needing to know how many people are coming in advance is a must.