Change of times. Good or bad?

[caseysmom]

I always felt like being a working mom I was a good role model for my daughters. I know lots of mom's that are stay at home, they usually have their own college degree though. I did manage to do both with my husband's help who also worked, it was teamwork in a new way.

I don't think its good for a women not to go to college and have an education, if you do happen to be in an unhappy marriage you would have no means to care for yourself.

Are you a stay at home mom Nicole?

[NicoleLJ]

I agree. Education is very important. A woman working is not the issue because the father could stay home. There is nothing that says one or the other is the sex that has to stay home.

[Karen]

Just because most women stayed home back then doesn't mean they were any happier than women are today. In earlier years, women were told to stay with abusive husbands often because divorce was seen as a failure, and women were told that any abuse was their own fault. Years ago there were no such thing as the shelters that are available now for women to escape abuse. An older friend once told me when she tried to tell her own mother about the abuse she was suffering at the hands of her first husband, her mother told it was her role as a woman to be a good wife, and not talk about such things.

Having the choice of whether to attend college, whether to work, and even reproductive choice and more understanding of their own bodies mean women have more control over their lives than before. How they choose to exercise that control is up to them, and while we may not agree with them, I do think having choice is better than having no choice.

I know that my family history is not exactly typical. Women in my family have been expected to go to college for several generations. My Great Aunt Evelyn was a high school principal when basically women weren't supposed to have that kind of job, and certainly a MARRIED woman was not supposed to. My mother was amongst only the second class of women allowed in her college, now Clark University, because with the war going on, if they wanted a student body, they figured they had to make the change.

I had one professor, when I was in college, fretting one day that her daughter was going to be permanently harmed psychologically because she chose to go back to work, which meant that her daughter attended day care a few days a week. I told her that I did not feel "psychologically harmed" and I went to someone's house for day care when my mother worked, and I thought it was fun. She looked at me like I was some sort of otherworldly creature ... but then realized that indeed, I was probably one of the more stable of the students in her classroom.

Life changes, for better or for worse. How we deal with those changes is what matters. And taking responsibility for our choices is a good thing, I think. And I know plenty of good, responsible parents raising children today, thank you. And not just my own family, I wasn't even thinking of them when I typed that sentence.

Being kind, being a good example, working hard and caring for those who need it - pets, animals and people - these are not unheard of. They may not make the news, but these people exist.

I have known since childhood that it's a good thing I am alive today. 200 years ago, my near-sightedness would likely have had me confined to a chair, or I'd wander off a cliff by accident. My asthma would have been unmanaged. I would have been regarded as frail, even if I had lived to grow up! Go to any old cemetery, and look carefully, notice how many children died before age 5. And before age 12. I am glad I am alive now, thanks!

[NicoleLJ]

That is the thing though. Fewer and fewer people take responsibility for their choices any more. They take responsibility for what is in their best interest. We are getting worse and worse into the me generation. People can no longer have expectation of others. Before it actually meant something when someone said their word is their bond. Now we are raised to trust no one but ourselves. It is sad.

Yeah no time in history is perfect but the problems of today are way out of comparision to the problems of the past. I honestly would prefer to have lived back when family meant something. Where community was more important then one single person. Why can't we have those things now and still the benifits of now? Because society is becoming more and more selfish.

[caseysmom]

Family still means everything to a lot of people. I have been married for 29 years and my daughters know their needs come before mine.

[Karen]

I honestly would prefer to have lived back when family meant something. Where community was more important then one single person. Why can't we have those things now and still the benifits of now? Because society is becoming more and more selfish.

Those things are all still true today. You cannot judge a whole society by what you see on the news.

When was the last time you saw a headline "Mom feeds her family well." Or "Dad takes a pay cut to spend more time with his family?" Or "Woman works two jobs so her children can stay in school?" Or "Child become first in her family to graduate high school," or "Music/basketball/science/math (pick one) scholarship allows boy to escape bad neighborhood," or "Grandmother cares for 5 grandchildren for no pay while her children sort out their own lives?" These things happen every day. I could give you names for each of these examples, but I bet you could find some of your own. Everyday heroes just working, keeping their heads down, and caring about their communities, volunteering at schools, shelters, and just being good neighbors.

Wave to your neighbors. Get to know people. Try not to assume the worst of everyone.

[Lady's Human]

The crime rates aren't actually worse, CNN et al just need the constant headlines to feed the 24 hours news beast.

[phesina]

Thank you, Karen and LH. You've both said what I wanted to say and said it so well!

[Twisterdog]

The crime rates aren't actually worse, CNN et al just need the constant headlines to feed the 24 hours news beast.

Amen! I've had this discussion with my parents before. They talk about something they saw on the news, and lament the "good old days" when there wasn't so much crime and violence. I mention to them that without television, radio, the internet, etc. they just wouldn't have known about a murder that happened two hours ago, two thousand miles away. Then they start talking about the murders, suicides, rapes, molestations, etc. that happened in their small town ... but that only a very few people knew about.

I propose that the per capita crime rate hasn't changed all that much over time ... the information age just allows us to hear about it all now.

My parents also start out talking about the "good old days", and end up talking about how it's much nicer now to have reliable vehicles, heat, electricity, medical care, appliances, shopping, etc.