Crisis of Faith

[Marigold2]

It sounds like the people in your church are brainwashed into thinking that unless you belong to their church and their faith you will not be saved.
Do what makes you happy. Only you can decide what is best for your soul. Every church will try and control you to some extent, why because the need members, members mean money? Who goes to heaven? The Jews who don't believe in JC, the Lutherans, the Catholics, the Mormons, Jehovah Witness, Islam, Budda. Who will it be? No one really knows. So none are correct and none are wrong. Don't let someone tell you that you have to do this or that or believe this way or that way. Look into your heart and let it be your guide.
But most of all, just be happy. I am glad you don't see your mom. That must have been hard for you. You are very brave and wise.

[Catherinedana]

I believe faith to be deeply personal and individual. No one can force you to believe anything and if they try, at some point you will need to step back and take a look at what has been imposed on you. That is what you are doing now. You are not having a crisis of faith, you are having an awakening. There are many options for you and if the religious group that you were formally a part of does not accept you, you can spend time alone, reflecting on your beliefs or you can find another community that will. Take the time you need to find your truth; it will feel right and true and beautiful when you do. There is not hurry - you have a lifetime. Continue to learn about yourself and allow it to come to you.

Peace,
Cathy

[Twisterdog]

IMHO ...

The Higher Power in our lives, and in the universe, does not answer to one name and only one name that a small group of petty little human beings invented. It makes no difference whether you say God, Jehovah, Allah or Brahma when you pray ... the same entity hears you.

God (as the arbitrary name I was taught) is everywhere, in everyone and every thing. He is not only in a church or a mosque or a synagogue. He does not only love Jews, or Christians, or Hindus, or Mormons.

Organized religion is an invention of man, not God. God never told us to join a particular church, or join a church period. If a particular religion makes you happy, and feel close to God, then by all means, join it and stick with it. But if an organized religion makes you feel sad, guilty, worthless, ashamed or bad ... by all means ... get out of it! That is a group of people following people's rules - not God's.

[Karen]

I think that moving will be a positive thing for you. You can start over in a new community, and maybe even visit a few different churches, and see if you find that appeals to you without condemning you. Were you moving here, I'd invite you to my church, and we'd welcome you, I promise.

One's faith, as Cataholic said, is deeply personal - and we respect that.

[sirrahbed]

Woke up thinking about you Nicole and have been praying for your peace. It sure sounds like you are beginning a new and healthier life. Growing up within an enclosed and rigid set of rules - it must be somewhat scary to leave that behind - even if it is best for you. Thankfully, no group of people have an inside track to heaven even if they think they do and you have heard this all of your life. I have been in a similar situation and it is very hard to sort out what you believe and what you have been taught to believe you know? It is somewhat like growing up within a cult or abusive situation (not that this is exactly what you come from) just similar. Sounds like you have a very sensitive fiance and I am glad he was able to point out that you could only answer questions in a certain way that parrot the church you were raised in. Scary to realize I am sure!! But as someone above said - perhaps what is happening is less of a crisis and more of an enlightenment or awakening There is no perfect church because they are all filled with sinful selfish people. God knows us inside out though - sees past all of that hurt and baggage. It may take time to be "deprogrammed" enough to sort out what was brainwashing and what was based on truth. Good for you removing all of the literature and books of rules. I hope that you still have a Bible, just a plain Bible - to read if you want to. More (((HUGS))) to you - hope that someday you will find a group of people (like your husband to be) who listen to you and love you and share common beliefs with you.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Your faith is your own and how you choose to practice it is up to you - in a church or in a field, its all the same if its what you believe in. Nobody should be forcing you to go to church or telling you that you are doing something wrong. Keep strong

[smokey the elder]

I think it's important to decouple faith from dogma; IMO they have nothing to do with each other. Faith is personal, dogma is imposed by some organization which often has an agenda. It's seen over and over again in many organized religions. Religions that are less dogmatic, like the Society of Friends, aka the Quakers; or Unitarian Universalism can be good ones to explore if one is interested in the fellowship aspects of faith.