Crisis of Faith

[sirrahbed]

I am sorry to read this - sounds like you have had such a rigid upbringing and now have this crisis. I am saddened that your former friends feel they have to lecture you rather than love and listen to you. Perhaps they are also victims of such a rigid and judgemental viewpoint? A good thing is that faith does not depend on us at all, it is a gift of God and even though you may not feel it, God does not ever change. *People*, sinful people... screw this up. So hang in there and try to find some new friends who love and support you ok? (((HUGS)))

[NicoleLJ]

THanks. My hardest hurdle is honestly figuring out what I believe and what is brainwashing. I didn't really see how bad it was till my fiance tried having a discussion with me and he said all my points I made were based on my church and didn't I have a personal opinion that was not word for word doctrine of my religion. Then when he asked me to explain why I think a certian thing should be this way I couldn't without referencing my religious teaching. And in all honesty it made no sense without it.

Scared me a little to realize that.

[Cataholic]

I am thankful my parents never crammed religion down my throat. Ever. I was raised presbyterian, attended church into my teens, was baptised, had communion and was confirmed. I never felt 'tied' to a religous belief, and while I don't like this statment, have always felt more spiritual then religious. I also like the saying that attending church doesn't make you a christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I attended a quaker college. WOW. What a group of people. So non judgmental, so non-everything- but I liked the convictions, the quiteness of it all.

Now, WAY past college (LOL, like 20 plus years), and having experienced some other things in life, some other religions, some other churches and lots and lots of 'christians', I look at things differently.

My relationship with God is MY relationship. Any person that tries to tell ME what God means, intends, belives, stands for, etc., is totally entitled to THEIR beliefs. Mine are my own. I feel no need to argue or defend my position. I try to be 'good'. I fail. I try to make amends, I try to do better, I try to witness. I realize that everyday is a day to be better, not bitter. I haven't gone to a church in forever. If that causes other people pause, totally ok with me. I don't answer to other people. I answer to MY higher power. If they think they have an in with that higher power- peace be with them. Not my business.

Anyone that uses religion as a weapon, rather than an umbrella to shield/soothe/comfort you, isn't -IMO- Godlike. I would distance myself from them and find people that share your beliefs. That isn't a cop-out, that isn't a way to say to heck with organized religion. It is a way to say that organized 'religion' stops being religious when it separates us from what we are supposed to cling to most closely. Those are man's laws/issues, not God's.

[Catty1]

Nicole - it is some religions' calling to call on people to talk to them, but many many people either don't answer the door, or tell them to not call there again - nicely.

If you move again - don't given them a change of address notice!

[NicoleLJ]

WOW is all I can say about Cats post. Defiantely food for thought.

[Catty1]

Nicole was responding to YOUR post, Johanna - not mine! We typed at the same time.

[NicoleLJ]

Thanks. We are moving this month. And I am not planing to send them my addy.

[Marigold2]

It sounds like the people in your church are brainwashed into thinking that unless you belong to their church and their faith you will not be saved.
Do what makes you happy. Only you can decide what is best for your soul. Every church will try and control you to some extent, why because the need members, members mean money? Who goes to heaven? The Jews who don't believe in JC, the Lutherans, the Catholics, the Mormons, Jehovah Witness, Islam, Budda. Who will it be? No one really knows. So none are correct and none are wrong. Don't let someone tell you that you have to do this or that or believe this way or that way. Look into your heart and let it be your guide.
But most of all, just be happy. I am glad you don't see your mom. That must have been hard for you. You are very brave and wise.